No kidding: Mars Curiosity rover finds evidence of water on Mars as well as a fully in tact Holy Bible under one of the rocks

Scientists were thrilled to find evidence that water once flowed heavily across the surface of Mars at one time. They delivered the news to shouts and cheers from fans of science everywhere.

Little known information is that Curiosity rover also uncovered a fully in-tact Holy Bible lodged under one of the rocks.

The find throws a huge wrench in the entire theory of evolution.

Scientists now believe that while evolution on earth resulted in organisms like insects, bacteria, fish, birds and mammals, Mars’s evolution must have given rise to great works of fiction.

More on the Curiosity discovery here.

For more on the bible discovery, you’re just going to take it on faith.

Why would I lie to you? I’m your friend.

If you can’t believe in what I’m telling you, imagine the crap you’ll be persuaded by.



Yawn, 54yo pastor admits guilt for having sex with a minor citing ignorance of statutory rape laws. In other news, the same pastor was following biblical views of sex

Former Hammond, Indiana megachurch pastor Jack Schaap admits he was having sex with a 16 year old girl, but is citing ignorance of the “Law”. So everything’s okay.

Clap hands like cleaning erasers.

Done and done.

Of course, Schaap was using the best moral guidebook of all time to steer his ways and his morals. Because godly ordained biblical views are superior to silly governmental secular, immoral laws.

The biblical view of marriage seems to indicate that sex with multiple women and girls, naming them your wives when necessary, is perfectly reasonable.

Mary herself was thought of as a 13 or 14 year old girl. Blasphemous as it sounds, but clearly she was old enough for God himself to impregnate.

How can biblical views of sex and marriage be wrong? It’s exactly what a little under half of the population wants to convince the other half is the best, and only way to view and improve the moral landscape of this country.

And, garsh guys, if it weren’t written directly in his book of incredible morality, what he is guilty of is probably something he kept seeing on those instructional websites on how to have sex with girls.

It’s not a big deal. Seriously.

Hell, if Schaap lived in many places overseas, sex with underage girls is completely embraced by the underbellies of several third-world countries and well known in business communities as perfectly reasonable entertainment.

The common thought is, “Why would god make ’em perty if they weren’t to be sex’d a little?”

Just when I thought my monogamous marriage to one woman was the right one, these guys go and mix it up a little.

Golly geez.

Give it to Schaap and his cronies. They really know how to shake things up.

More of the story here. Photo above from Chicago Tribune.