the notes that I aspire to write some day

424170_10151345711468958_767577948_nA letter posted somewhere in Chicago from “Your old white cranky neighbor reads, “Dear Slob Neighbor (who brought their Christmas tree down the residential elevator … I am trying to figure out — are you: a) nuts. b) a slob. c) recently moved from a trailer park. d) usually has a personal servant that cleans up after your mess. e) all of the above. 

There aren’t any F-bombs, though.

Needs more of those.