Whoever’s in charge of nature is a jerk

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Image via NY times. Click image to see more of Mother Nature’s destruction.

Mother Nature — whoever that is — killed 51 (fifty-fucking-one) people using a mile-wide tornado near Oklahoma City. Seven of them were children.

Seven.

People who kill children are considered monsters.

Seven.

One is too many.

Seven.

S E V E N. 

Story here

More destruction photos proving jerkiness here.

****UPDATE****

The death toll has been lowered to 24.

Still too many.

But still.

Rednecks for a weekend

red

Over the weekend, Tina and I went on a secret mission.

The mission: Surprise photo partner Bill’s now fiancée with a visit at a 25,000 acre ranch situated southwest of Dallas, Texas.

Bill got engaged last Thursday night at the same place they met for the first time. Since December, he’s been asking some of his best friends to congregate at the ranch to celebrate the event with him. And it’s been a secret the entire time.

Seven of us from Chicago flew in on Friday. We all met at a Walmart where we stocked up on food, beverages, a pool noodle for Tina and a shit-ton of 20-gauge shotgun shells.

On the ranch, we met up with another seven or more of Bill’s friends. Locals. Locals with lots of guns and a penchant for drinking lots and eating just as well.

We were promised a rockin’ good time. And believe me, it was.

To get from the ranch gate to the house took over 15 to 20 minutes. If you’ve ever been to the Biltmore Mansion in Asheville, NC, you know how long it takes to get from a gate to a house.

The house itself featured an older portion and a newer. The older had about 5 or 6 suite bedrooms with living quarters and private bathrooms. There were huge living areas, comparable to hotels or bed and breakfasts.

The newer part of the house was three buildings. Two of them featured modern bedrooms with private baths. The third building was a game house with pool table, shuffle board, fire places, a beautiful kitchen, another bathroom, a patio, etc.

I say we had a redneck weekend, because the local folks were proud of their Texas legacy of guns, god and country. And by country, I mean country. We shot guns, rifles and skeet.

We drank vodka infused with habanero peppers. We had a gigantic pork loin covered in a weave of bacon. Tina learned to say the area over yonder.

The locals were proud of their redneck ancestry and it showed on their sleeves.

It was a ton of fun, and I’ll post more pictures and videos. Today I have to play catchup from some work last week.

Above is a picture of Tina and me, taking a break from a skeet shooting game, in which I came in fourth (1st among the Chicago folks).

I couldn’t hit shit at first. But I finally got the hang of it, and my last pull, I knocked out both skeet. Then Bill and I had to do tie breaker and I took one more out of the sky.

SO MUCH FUN!!!

If there’s one thing about the locals, they were really careful with their firearms. If not over careful.

I wish we could have stayed a day or two longer.