The Awful Truth About Jogging … you might shit yourself. So don’t do it

A few weeks ago, I read this article called, “The Awful Truth About Jogging” by blogger robicellis

I read it with gusto, as I’m a runner, and I thought there might be some delicately presented ideas explaining why you should run. Or why I shouldn’t run.

Perhaps it would justify not running, and then sitting on my ass for the rest of my life.

Or choosing another exercise, like cycling or beer drinking.

And maybe I read it wrong, but the only thing I got from it was that if you run, you might get the runs and shit yourself whilst running.

If crapping myself is the worst part of jogging, then I’m obviously not running enough. I have NEVER crapped my pants while running.

And if I had, it would probably satiate some part of my brain that encourages running more.

That reminds me of a shit story that this hot blonde told me a couple weeks ago. A woman actually told me the story. It was about her and her own shit story. This girl was out with another girl drinking one night after a full weekend of drinking.

Apparently, like running, marathon drinking can cause you to shit yourself.

These two women were walking home from their third night on the town, drowning their single-girl sorrows. On the way home, the blonde girl — who was wearing a white dress — shit herself a little.

“I just shit myself a little,” said our blonde friend to the other friend.

“Oh no.”

“Would you walk behind me to keep it sort of covered while we walk home? We’re not too far away.”

So they walked home in single file, the poor girl in the back staring at the blonde’s dirty, fecal covered dress for a few blocks. They got inside their apartment and the girl in back vomited. And not just a little. A lot. All over the foyer.

Apparently drinking mixed with walking behind a hot blonde who shit herself invokes vomiting.

Happy Monday.

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