“With coke airing a multilingual ad celebrating diversity and pepsi being an outspoken advocate for gay rights, what beverage is left for the right-wing to drink? May we suggest a tall, cool glass of unfiltered west virginia tap water?”
Or how about a cool drink from a Sochi hotel …
Le Café Wittypoots 
Omg . . . the first sentence . . . I’m thinking of my hyper-conservative upbringing and dying laughing . . .
🙂
I’d like to read more about your upbringing. Do you have particular posts you can point me to on your blog?