The confusing world of an artistic mind

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This last year has been change, change and more change for me.

I used to blog here at Le Café four to six times a day. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. But I always blogged. Every day.

I knew I wanted to pull back. And I did. I stopped blogging controversial material, because I felt the rift it drove between my family and maybe some friends. And I even felt that it was affecting my professional life a little.

I don’t think less about controversial, political or religious topics. I just don’t post it. Not here anyway.

I want to talk artist thoughts, but it’s tough to discover the artistic voice I want to put out there.

It’s tough to nail down a certain online persona when the options are endless.

What it comes down to is to just be me. And to just talk about it as if it were completely normal. And I guess the voice will just arrive.

One thing that has inspired me this year is the twelve months of self portraits challenge project I’ve done all year. I have one left. It’s going to be in December.

The challenge has been an exercise in creativity, but also in the process of getting tangled in the mire of trying to be artistic, when life isn’t all that benevolent with offering time to get untangled.

That’s what creativity is: It’s not always being creative. It can become forced. It feels forced. When you press that button that publishes it for the world to see, it feels coerced. You feel dirty. You feel insecure. Art isn’t always the outcome, but the process.

Below the fold, I’ll add all 11 self portraits from this year. Drop a comment and let me know which is your favorite. I think July is mine.

My least favorite is May. The flowers. 

01 January

“Smokin’” | January | Theme: Cigar

 

02 Feb

“Waiting for the Bus” | February | Theme: Newspaper

 

03 march

“Tossed Salad” | March | Theme: Green

 

04 april

“Drenched” | April | Theme: Water

 

05 May

“Peeking Out” | May | Theme: Flowers

 

06 June

“The Scrimmage” | June | Theme: Soccer

 

07 July

“My Mouth is on Fire” | July | Theme: fire

 

08 august

“Untitled” | August | Theme: Forced Perspective

 

09 sept

“Under Water” | September | Theme: reflection

 

10 october

“Who’s ready to party?” | October | Theme: Campy

 

11 november

“Roman Holiday” | November | Theme: Your Choice

 

 

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