Finally! Someone with some brains has predicted Armageddon!

From a reputable news source:

A Christian numerologist claims that the world will end next Saturday when a planet will, supposedly, collide with Earth.

According to Christian numerologist David Meade, verses in Luke 21:25 to 26 are the sign that recent events, such as the recent solar eclipse and Hurricane Harvey, are signs of the apocalypse.


Meade has built his theory on the so-called Planet X, which is also known as Nibiru, which he believes will pass Earth on Sept. 23, causing volcanic eruptions, tsunamis and earthquakes, according to British newspaper The Sun.

NASA has repeatedly said Planet X is a hoax.

Don’t make any plans past Sept 23, 2017, all ye breathren!

It’s time to meet your maker!

I was going to post this article without commentary, but apparently, I can’t keep my fingers still from typing a little response.

This article was given credence on a national “news” site. If you read the phenomenal journalistic writing, it just dives into biblical rational behind the prophecy. This assumes a lot, especially that everyone knows the bible and that everyone would be familiar with its predictions for the future.

There’s a part of the article describing this as being issued forth by the astrological sign of virgo. Ah, those pesky virgins! What with all their gifts of gods giving eternal life and taking all life away at the moment when planets ram into each other. Virgins are bitches!

At least the journalist behind this amazing story evens everything out by including a cautionary quote from a “rational” mind who is quoted as saying, “There is nothing to suggest that 23 September is a momentous date for biblical prophecy, and Christians need to be careful about being drawn into such sensationalist claims.”

That seems well and good. But if you go to the source of the quote, he also wrote: “We won’t know the day or the hour—so we should be prepared at all times!”

Phew, thanks for including an expert opinion on this matter!

We won’t know the day or the hour. 

Le sigh. Le humph. Le barf.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that line growing up. Yawn.

No really. The church and whoever said that kind of thing scared the shit out of me. They scare the shit out of any ol’ gullible dimbulb any chance they get. “Yeah, little Jeremy, you have the choice to follow Jesus or not. But just keep in mind, we don’t know the day or hour when Jesus is coming back so make sure you invite him into your heart and ask for forgiveness of all your sins that we made up or bam, Jesus could return. Then you’ll find yourself swimming in molten lava for ETERNITY! Sleep tight, little guy. This is the gospel. This is love. And it shows how much I love you by scaring you with telling you this!!

It’s your choice. 

What choice?

There may be some cataclysmic events in the world. And these ideas of apocalypse were certainly much greater back in the olden times when people didn’t know shit about the size of the earth or how to even remotely predict catastrophic events. When the earth and its place in the universe is a big fat mystery, of course the explanations that emerge will scare the shit out of people and inspire shit-scaring tactics of mind control.

Them there’s the best way to occupy a world without a 24-hour news cycle and a world in which 99% of the world population couldn’t read or write.