ALL HANDS ON DECK.
"I just want to let you know what a nigger you are." -Jeffrey Whitman, owner of Uriahs Heating, Cooling, & Refrigeration in Columbus, OH
Jeffrey Whitman, in his own company vehicle, chased a Black man all the way to his home to repeatedly call him a nigger. pic.twitter.com/BMh3bHHBCS
— Shaun King (@shaunking) July 25, 2018
From this article in Medium by Lydia Sohn:
The radical relationship-based orientation of all my subjects caught me by surprise. As someone entering the height of my career, I expend much more energy on work than on relationships. And when I imagine my future, I envision what I will have accomplished rather than the quality of my interactions with those who are most important to me. These 90-something-year-olds emphasize the opposite when they look back on their lives. Their joys and regrets have nothing to do with their careers, but with their parents, children, spouses, and friends. Put simply, when I asked one person, “Do you wish you accomplished more?” He responded, “No, I wished I loved more.”
My conversations challenged me. I certainly won’t be giving up my job to hang out with my family more because I also recognize that satisfying careers and financial stability are great sources of fulfillment — which, in turn, affect family well-being. But these different perspectives helped me focus on what really matters in the face of competing responsibilities and priorities. That sermon really does not have to be the best sermon in the world when my son is starving for my attention. My husband really does not need to get the highest-paying job he can find if that means I can spend more time with him.
This article means a lot to me, as I personally think I focus more on love than on my career. It’s made me feel guilty at times, as I’ve not focused on getting better at photography over getting better at relationships.
For the last 10 to 12 years, when I’m around my family, I eschew an outward expression of my so-called beliefs and views. It’s a form of love. I love them more than my beliefs to avoid making them uncomfortable. This is not a reciprocated action.
This blog is my avenue for exploring disbelief. I avoid doing it in their presence, because when I do, they squirm and squeal. It’s been a compromise for the greater good.
I’m at a point where I’m likely not going to go visit family in any visible future. No more holidays. No more visits. I can only do so much of the one-way, uphill battle toward mutual acceptance and can only take so much of the imbalanced expressions of love.
But thems the ways the cookie crumbles.