My opinion of Lidl is in decline

Yesterday’s menu at Cafe Witteveen was grilled pork loin and zucchini in a buttery feta sauce with mint and orange zest. It’s one of our favorites.

On Saturday, I shopped for four days worth of groceries in an attempt to curb the frequency of going out in public.

The pork loin had an expiration date of August 14. Yesterday was August 4, a full ten days before expiration.

But when I cut open the package, a sulfuric fart blasted me in the face. At first I was like, “I gotta throw this out. We’re not eating it.” Then I started justifying it, because the date was fine. “Well, it’ll probably cook out the stank on the grill.”

That’s exactly how the mind works. It has a way of covering up the truth. When Tina walked in the room, her face soured and she asked, “Did you fart?”

“No,” I said. “It’s the pork loin.”

“We’re throwing that out, right?” She asked.

“Let me look this up.”

So I started googling it, and there is a chance that smelly pork is the result of something called “Boar Taint” which sometimes gives pork a sulfuric odor. But the consensus was that if it nauseates you, it’s bad meat.

We didn’t have any other menu items to take its place, so we threw the bad meat in a ziplock bag, then jumped in the car and drove to Lidl. We picked out a new package of pork loin and headed for the check out. When it was our turn, I told the cashier that we were preparing the pork but it clearly had gone badly before expiration.

“We don’t return meat products,” said the cashier.

“What?” I said.

“It’s Lidl’s policy not to return bad meat products,” he doubled down. “I can call a manager but they’re going to say the same thing.”

“It’s Lidl’s policy to sell rotten meat and not take ownership of it?” I asked. “That’s fucking bullshit. Call your manager.”

He did.

While we waited, I paid for the new package, because I didn’t want to hold up the line. The kid tried to give me back the plastic bag of pork, but I threw it back in his direction on the conveyor bet and said, “It’s yours. This is the shit hole that sold it to us.”

I’m such a dick. It’s no mystery. But everyone in a 25′ radius could smell that meat. And it was sending vomit up into my throat.

We watched as the manager walked from the back of the store. Tina looked at me and said, “Please let me do the talking.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” I agreed.

So she told the guy what was up. He picked up the bag, and I’m sure he could smell it. He said, “I’ll give you your money back. Come over here.”

Out of anger, I exited the store. I was appalled.

I went on twitter and tweeted to them, but there was no response.

So I’m writing this review. What a shit-ass policy to sell rancid meat and not stand behind it. You’d rather have a negative review than own up to a product that clearly was inferior? Shame on you, Lidl.

It’s that kind of corporate greed that is wrong with this country. Good and right be damned! You buy it, you eat it.

Well, consider my love affair with your store completely spoiled.

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