You don’t believe in conspiracy theories. Well, that’s a conspiracy!

I’ve been posting — as many people have — about the uptick in conspiracy theories. I posted that video just yesterday. And I watched it with very loud laughter.

But I’m troubled by the video creator’s summery and call to action-less action.

Should you be a conspiracy theorist, and you want to confront him or her, the video creator said, “Just don’t give credence or lend an ear to these crazies.” Or “there’s no proof you can give them to change their minds.” Or any number of “your hands are tied so fuck it” recommendations.

Just keep loving the conspiracy theorist and hope something sticks.

What a lazy way to think.

The conspiracy theorist is going to hear that call to inaction as validation that their views are valid and hold water. If no amount of discussion can help, no videos, no words, no proof, then almost by default, aren’t the evidence-based theorists conspiratorial?

We shall conspire to let the conspiracies live, breed and spread like wild fire among the so-called poorly educated.

If I am talking to a lifelong Christian, I can honestly look them in the eye say, “I believe you when you say Jesus exists. He exists in your head. And I recognize that and value that.”

But I’ll sit back and let the conspiracy live.

Is that lazy?

Yesterday, a Facebook friend posted an article from the New York Times on how the Qanon movement is trying to steal the “#savethechildren” movement. It’s the best way to attract new adherents.

The article reads:

My acquaintance is not a QAnon believer. And she certainly doesn’t think, as some QAnon adherents do, that Hillary Clinton and her cronies are kidnapping and eating children (yes, eating them) in order to harvest a life-extending chemical from their blood.

The whole “my friend is not a Qanon believer” is something that’s plaguing me, too. Someone you love might not identify as Qanon, but they are definitely dancing around the periphery of their movement. And this is what is so frightening.

I read today that the Trump camp is blasting a republican lawmaker for disparaging the Qanon movement. The response is why haven’t more people called out the democrats for the Steele Dossier. For god sakes, is the Steele Dossier still a thing? The only thing that came of that was an accusation of a Pee Pee tape. Which in my circles was just a laughing point not to be taken seriously.

I’m searching my views for conspiratorial theories that perhaps I am suppressing or convincing myself they aren’t conspiracies … And I guess falling for the whole mask movement is conspiratorial.

I kinda like masks. I don’t have to shave. I can cover my nose hair. One would think that more people would enjoy not having to go so far as to shower as the masks on other people would cover up one’s body odor.

I’ve fallen for the conspiracy that the earth is round, that Trump is a laughing stock and a shit heap of a president, that NPR is a left leaning news outlet, but their reporting is long form and boring, doesn’t feature screaming or zoomie graphics … so somehow it’s better.

I’ve fallen for there’s no reason to believe in God or gods. That’s free will. If it’s truly free, free it shall be.

I’ve fallen for the cognitive dissonance that killing babies is wrong but giving women a choice is okay. That men should step up to the plate and stop wreaking havoc on their marriages. But when they do, all power to the wives.

I’ve fallen for the conspiracy that Black Lives Matter, because, you know, they do. My life has enjoyed a surplus of privilege and when I compare mine to those of my black friends, their situations pale in comparison. No one ever said nobody else’s lives don’t matter. The movement is attempting to bring attention to one aspect of the formula that’s not adding up.

I’ve fallen for the conspiracy that women deserve to be equal in all ways to men, in pay, in views, in honor. They can wear whatever the fuck they want and they shouldn’t be treated like meat or with gross cat calling. If anything, men should learn to treat themselves better to live up to women’s standards. Instead of letting themselves go and become fat, lazy turds whose tongues collectively fall out when a woman who takes care of herself enters the building.

I’ve fallen for the conspiracy that America isn’t immune from criticism. Nothing should be. You can’t call America the greatest nation on earth and ignore the numbers on how it doesn’t stand up in terms of healthcare, prison inequalities, or levels of happiness.

Once something reaches an above criticism perspective, it should be without flaw.

We are number one in Covid deaths and Covid cases. I’ve fallen for the conspiracy that we are number one in cases not because we don’t test more, but because we fucking are seeing more cases, because Americans don’t accept science over the bloated orange turd screaming with his thumbs in the White House.

I have accepted all kinds of conspiracy theories.

So I am no better than you.

And you.

And you.

I would LOVE to hear any person of the right-leaning persuasion to admit that they, too, have fallen for conspiracies … but you know what … I think I’ll be waiting a long time.

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