Mic drop from conservative, evangelical Christian: “I will vote for Joe Biden, or anyone I find, who can act like a human being.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Last week, I went for a run.

In the pandemic, I’ve worn a mask or had one to pull up when I see other people. I try to take routes that don’t include too many people. I’ve run for up to an hour and a half with a mask up the entire time. It’s not that hard. I have no idea what people are smoking when they say they can’t breathe.


I was near the end of my run stopped at a light, and I saw a young man, probably in his twenties, ride up on the sidewalk, which is illegal in Chicago.

When I saw him, I pulled up my gator mask, which isn’t ideal, as they’ve been shown to be ineffective. But I’ve already had covid, so I feel like I’m doing it for others. Solidarity.

On long runs, I have to bring multiple masks because once they get sweaty, they’re impossible to breathe in.

Anyway, this kid rides up on a silver, vintage 10-speed. He’s not wearing a mask. We’re both at a light waiting for it to change. He looks at me dead in the eyes and asks, “Why are you wearing a mask?”

I look back at him in the eyes and say, “Because there’s a pandemic.”

“No there isn’t,” he says boldly.

“What?” I scoffed.

“There’s no pandemic. It’s a big lie.”

“Are you kidding me, asshole?” I towered over the kid. He clearly has no idea how little he appears for such a gigantic ego.

“You fell for a big lie, man,” he double tripled down.

The light changed and he started to pedal away. I said, “Dude, I’ve already had it. My wife, too.”

He looked back over his shoulder and he said, “I don’t believe you.”

He was about 20 yards away when I yelled out, “I hope you get it, mother fucker! It’s awful!” He kept riding. “Go fuck yourself!”

Bystanders were looking to see who I was calling a mother fucker.

This bullshit behavior is what I would expect from an adult. And definitely from someone larger in scale. I could have blown him over with a gentle breath. I’m sure 215,000 dead people would love to hear that they died from a lie. I’m sure the whole world is in on the conspiracy that this Covid-19 is something that was cooked up in a thought bubble to ruin all the economies and take down President Trump.

But you know. People are sheeple. They’ll believe anything they’re told. Right? Right.