“I want more mens’ rights”

My bible was written by 40 men.
My country’s White House housed 46 men.
My congress seats 382 men.
Men sit on 76 chairs in my senate.
The fifty states’ governors’ offices hold 41 men.
State senates are made of 1411 men.
Men reign as the mayors of only 1214 cities with populations over 30,000.
The CEOs of most companies are men.

Mens rights in this country are being overrun by women!
Look at the data!
The stats do not lie.
The numbers are very telling.
I have exposed the truth!
Men, with our big flaccid penises, are being repressed, depressed, and OPPRESSED!

Women and minorities, they are taking, nay, stealing my manhood,
my ability to be masculine,
my ability to flex my superiority
my muscles,
my long tie,
my ugly cock.

My god, can’t someone give me my rights back!