The art of persuasion in 59 seconds.
So if you want your partner to agree to a threeway, this guy recommends inviting a dwarf first #persuasionFebruary 21, 2014
Man, fuck football. American football. From The Atlantic:
In NFL city after NFL city, this pattern is repeated. CenturyLink Field, where the Seattle Seahawks play, opened in 2002, with Washington State taxpayers providing $390 million of the $560 million construction cost. The Seahawks, owned by Paul Allen, one of the richest people in the world, pay the state about $1 million annually in rent in return for most of the revenue from ticket sales, concessions, parking, and broadcasting (all told, perhaps $200 million a year). Average people are taxed to fund Allen’s private-jet lifestyle.
That’s right—extremely profitable and one of the most subsidized organizations in American history, the NFL also enjoys tax-exempt status. On paper, it is the Nonprofit Football League.
Over the past few years, I’ve turned my attention away from a beautiful muse with so much to offer, she was overflowing like a mythological world flood.
Her name was Reading Books, and our relationship all but died. I mean, in 2013, I may have read through most of three books, but never finished one. Despite books by my bedside table, I resorted to a slide down Facebook’s walls or down a blog or two before bed.
I don’t know what to pinpoint as the culprit for losing my love for reading. A lot of the books I read up unto the point of our breakup were religious or non-religious in nature. In fact, many of the books were recommendations made by my brother.
It wasn’t like no one tried intervening. A friend of mine who works in a real, live bookstore tried to keep the love alive, by hand delivering early copies of books from my favorite author, Chuck Palaniuk. I would start them, and get bored. Sometimes too quickly.
The internet is a tawdry temptress, and sometimes you feel “read” if you’ve got 16,000 bookmarks for constantly updating content and blogs.
But you know what revitalized my love for Reading Books again?
My wife Tina and her love affair with the Public Library. Over the past year, she’s contrasted my abstinence with a flourishing, sexy reading fest of a couple three books a month. Sometimes more.
In the car, there’s this constant, “Can you drive by the library, I need to pick up a new Book.”
I was green with jealousy. Green.
What’s this bitch doing with all these new, hardcover books with crackily plastic wrapped around them? The whore! I thought.
Or, to make me red with anger, she borrowed books straight onto her iPad via the Chicago Public Library website. Anything new, she could get either an old fashioned rub and tub via a page turning book. Or she could get a bit of a “how’s your daddy” from a virtual rental.
Before Christmas, I was determined to get in on that action, and jobs or business kept getting in the way. Once, we walked to the library, only to find out our branch is closed on Sundays. I blame the Catholics for preventing me from educating myself!
Finally, about three weeks ago, I said, “I’m fucking getting my library card renewed!”
I’ve already flown through two books, and scanned a couple photography books. Albeit, Dan Brown isn’t the level of literature I’d like to get back into regular reading, but it’s a start. You don’t hire the top hooker on the first go ’round, from what I hear anyway.
And I can read on my iPad, iPhone, and likely my computer if I wanted to.
And where I leave off on my iPad, I can pick up on my iPhone. And any notes or highlights, I can review them later. And words that evade my intellect, I can google on the spot. And places, I can wikipedia. I can see a visual for a description that I have no context for outside of the words.
Reading ebooks is a sexy, rich, multiple orgasmic experience.
And you should give her a whirl … at least a roll in the hay.
Goats balancing on an aluminum shelter-looking thingie?
“spending time with children is more important than spending money on Children”
“Lord, why do you pile all these troubles upon us? It’s because of the gays, isn’t it? Yes, it is. I knew it. You’re punishing us for their abominations. Oh, no no no, not at all. I’m punishing you for the shitty way you treating them.
Ever need to go hands free for that particularly tough wipe whilst on your toilet reading your iPad?February 17, 2014
Ever have that problem where you need two hands when reading your iPad on the john?
Well, me neither.
But apparently there are those people out there. And need has brought a supply of these nifty toilet paper slash iPad holders.
And for the tike with attention deficit disorder, buy them this potty training design of genius: a training station with iPad holder.
I don’t see a little cup for placing some cheerios, but maybe it’s not viewable from this angle.
Are you right or left brained?
Take this stupid little test to find out.
My results were the same twice in a row. Apparently I’m an even matched Lefty/Righty.
If you happen to have followed this blog for a while, you know I have a tremendous love for the Despicable Me franchise. Read this, perhaps.
Pharrell’s soundtracks are flipping phenomenal. So glad that something like this is getting played on the radio waves.
If you want to check out some of the other work from Despicable Me I, try this.