contemplating getting back on the path to creativity

For about a year and a half, maybe longer, I’ve been in a creative slump. My goal lately has been to yank myself out using the tuft on my neck that you pick puppies and kittens up by when they’re getting into something they shouldn’t.

Creative slumps suck.

As an artist, it’s easy to point at all the extraneous factors that are at fault. Certainly there are external factors that come into play. For example: doctor’s appointments, an accident, or any other life moment that may distract from productivity.

I’ve seen other artists — people in general — complain about the current political climate and blame that for certain levels of anxiety and lack of productivity. I share that sentiment completely.

It may be too early to shout out to the world about getting out of this slump, but I’m putting myself on the path. And with hard work and perseverance, I hope to stay there.

I’ve been seeing a therapist lately, and we’ve been exploring my fears, insecurities and how they pertain to self-expression.

Like other artists, I allow fear to prevent me from creating something, for fear it’s going to turn out shitty. Not creating anything defeats the purpose of the creative.

I recently completed this self portrait.


It is a motion portrait, btw, so look for movement.  It’s one of many things I hope to do to stay on the path. I’m not saying it’s the BEST image in the world. But it’s an image. It’s an executed idea. I had the vision. I made a version of it. I’m sharing it with the world. I’m moving on.

In a way, it’s a metaphor for how I want to grow out of this place of fear and become bigger in the eyes of my audience. Whoever that might be.

I designed the visual with a couple different people in mind as the subject. One girl didn’t respond at all to my request. Another one told me she wasn’t the one for the job. At least she responded.

The image is a compilation of eight images composited into one. I’m working on a behind the scenes video now to show how I put it together.


Jeremy wants you to stalk him

As many of you know, Jeremy asked me to guest blog in his absence while he enjoyed his trip to Bali.  Jeremy, though, is still itching to share his life with you guys- and has asked me to remind all of you that he is chronicling his travels over at his professional, won’t-get-you-imprisoned-for-blasphemy blog at

There are some great photos over there, and a play-by-play account of his time in Bali.  You should go and check it out.  Then you should comment on his posts.  He misses you so much.

Yes, You.

In Defense of the Yeshua Fog, Sincere Familial Reconciliation

jesus-king-copyn1 copyI continue getting amazing feedback about the Yeshua Fog Conundrum, a.k.a. learning that my family has been reading my blog long before I knew it. The entry continues to get lots of hits per day. Thank you.

The emails and support have been much appreciated. It reminded me that I need to give an update, because (ONE) it’s been consuming a lot of my time while not hanging here at Le Café and (two) I hear you chomping at the bit from here to hear some news.

Not only has a gigantic weight been lifted from my mind and shoulders, the whole debacle has brought me closer to my family. This should speak volumes for them. And I hope it speaks volumes to the many who are still toiling over how or what to do with their disbelief.

My family has had the patience and foresight to reach out through the fog. And maybe they’re afraid that if they say anything awful, it’s getting blogged  for all to read.

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