Finally, science supports and validates what we all already knew

July 17, 2013

And by “we”, I mean guys everywhere with a longingness to look at women in their full glory and not protected in a shroud of bra-ness.

Check this not-yet-peer-reviewed piece of awesomeness says:

Cross my heart, we’re not making this up, even though it flies in the face of conventional wisdom, anatomical reality and the billions of dollars raked in last year by Victoria’s Secret: Wearing a bra might actually make your breasts sag.

At least that’s the conclusion drawn by Jean-Denis Rouillon, a professor at the University of Besançon in France. For the past 15 years, Rouillon has been diligently taking a slide rule and caliper to the breasts of 320 women, ages 18 to 35, to measure any changes, particularly the relationship of the nipple to the shoulder. (To the surprise of no straight man with a pulse, he has said that these results are preliminary and that further research is needed.)

The sports science expert told France Info radio that “bras are a false necessity,” and that “medically, physiologically, anatomically — breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra.”

Read more here.

Found at TYWKIWDBI

 


Unlikely BAMF in a Tutu

April 18, 2012

Joanne Casey posted these damn photos from photographer Bob Carey. It’s a series of him wearing only a tutu.

He explains the series started as a kind of a joke, but then the story took a turn when his wife developed breast cancer. Wearing a pink tutu suddenly took on meaning.

So now Bob Carey sells his images to raise awareness and money to fight cancer.

Read more and make a contribution here.

Via


Well put that in your bra and support it

February 4, 2012

From TPMLivewire:

The Planned Parenthood Federation of America has raised more than $3 million in the last three days, a spokesperson told TPM, after a massive outpouring of support following the Komen Foundation’s decision to cut funding. The Komen Foundation has since reversed its decision.

“Over the last three days, Planned Parenthood Federation of America’s breast health fund has received more than $3 million from thousands of people across the country,” the spokesperson told TPM in a statement. “Every dollar we received for this fund will go directly for breast examines, diagnostic services, breast health outreach and education so that more women can receive this critical care.”

Via


The Breast Center

August 3, 2011

The Carbondale University Mall is a ghost town. There are some big-name stores there like Old Navy, American Eagle, Macy’s, etc. But it’s almost like they are there because they feel sorry for the town. Maybe the owners of those stores think they are contributing to a charity by keeping their stores in a mall like that.

In the back of the mall, near the food court, I found the above sign for the breast center. It’s pointing toward a little gray door that looks more like an exit than an entrance.

All I could think of was behind that gray door in the corner was a HUGE areola. Or behind the door, there were a bunch of animated boobs without chests running around.

I mean, The Breast Center? What else could it be?

Here’s a shot of cobbled together images at the food court at the mall. This should show you just how ghost town this mall is. Notice there are only two restaurants that are open. The rest are vacant.

click to enlarge

One more thing, drop by the wiki for “breast.” The top right image is a photo of a pregnant woman’s boob. When I was growing up, that was considered pornographic. I’m not sure why. Wikipedia must be the modern boy’s National Geographic magazine.


Monday NSFW Nooner

July 25, 2011

Holy shit, hot girls are funny! I have proof.

Oddly enough, when JennaMarbles cuts to herself wearing glasses, I think that’s the hottest part of the video … that and when she clamps down on her right breast and shoves it toward the camera.

How much you wanna bet,  gets a lot of “Will you marry me?” requests.

Via I have seen the whole boob on the Internet


“Intelligent” design my foot! Nipple found on woman’s heel

July 19, 2011

Don’t you know, nipples are sexy, dirty, sinful parts of the human body? Look at that image above!

Aren’t you TURNED ON? Did blood engorge your male or female sex organ as soon as you saw that gorgeous nipple?

Well, surprise … it’s a foot nipple!

Women have nipples. Men have them, too. Mothers feed their babies with them. They’re sensitive to the touch, and some men and women enjoy a good nipple touching, licking, fondling, sucking or all the above.

Some women’s nipples are too small to feed a child. Other women’s nipples are almost as large as their entire boob. They are different colors. They often grow hair.

Gosh, they are kind of weird little doohickies, don’t you think? 

In our Puritan-influenced society, men prance around beaches and public spaces showing off their nipples, while women have to keep theirs covered as to avoid rampant sex urges from impetuous men.

Some people — both men and women — sport a third or fourth nipple, obvious evidence of our animal heritage. While there are dim bulbs who insist that we are Intelligently created, there are gigantic, okay quarter-sized clues, these third and fourth nipples show how connected we are to the rest of the animal kingdom.
And then there’s a new bizarre case of a nipple showing up on a woman’s heel. Check out this article about a nipple found on a woman’s foot.

It might be a foot fetish dream come true!

Now before you rush off to the bathroom to masturbate, consider the fact that nipples aren’t all that big of a deal. And there are anomalies like this one that must happen more often than get reported.

I wonder if the woman with the heel nipple gets off if she wears certain kinds of shoes? You know, if the heel rubs a certain way …

Or perhaps when she props up her bare feet, she must wear a little Barbie bikini top to cover that one spot to avoid offending children playing around her.

Or if she is ever in a dance routine, she must avoid any kind of costume malfunction to avoid lawsuits from the FCC.

I’ve been to nude beaches. I’ve seen kids on beaches where women are sunbathing nude. And you know what, if no one makes it a big deal … it’s not.

I’ve seen nude art. Frankly, I’d like to make nude art. But that’s beside the point.

Nipples, sex organs, naked bodies … these do not offend me nor do I think they are evil, sinful, or whatever the conservatives impose on our culture.

And while I’m on the topic of sexual peculiarities, anyone who says they are opposed to homosexuality because they say that kind of sex is “unnatural” since it doesn’t give procreation a chance is not having a creative bedroom experience … and they should probably consider cutting off their genitals.


Scheduling your next bedroom romp

November 16, 2010

Katie Morgan, taken at the AVN Awards in Las V...

Katie Morgan. Image via Wikipedia

Last Thursday night, Tina and I were in New York City on a job. We worked all day until 9 p.m. We grabbed a bite to eat and returned to our hotel. Tina begged me to go clubbing, but … you know me … I’m a sack-a-crap when it comes to fun. So we retired to our hotel room.

Honk.

When we got back to the hotel, it was around 10:30. We washed up, and I turned on the tube to flip channels. What else do you do when you’re in a hotel with a TV? When I hit HBO, there was a naked woman on screen. Buck naked. She was standing against a green screen, as if doing a news show. Or “The Soup.”

I’m not a scientist, but I could tell this woman probably had a boob job. The indicators were that her boobs were bloated, malformed, and different sized. I’m not talking how most women’s boobs aren’t exactly the same size. I’m talking one was smashed and the other rounded. If boobs were eyeballs and nipples were irises, who the hell knows which direction those eyes were looking.

The boob job has to be the worst invention to human aesthetics ever. I can’t stand the look of a boob job, covered or bare. Not that I’m out asking, but I’ve never met a man (or woman) who said, “I love me a hot ass and a sweet boob job!”

Do you like the way a boob job looks?

After five minutes, we found out this woman’s name was Katie Morgan. She stood full on to the camera and it was in HD. You could see every ounce of her pelvis. She was completely shaven. Or waxed. Or plucked (Ouch!). There wasn’t an ounce of body hair on her. You could see her labia majora as well as a little nub of her labia minora.

Oddly enough, I’m not tugging your tooter when I say, I was not turned on by this woman’s naked body.

I love the female form, and I could look at nude photography all day long. There was something about Morgan’s body that wasn’t appealing. Maybe it was due to her standing pose. I couldn’t figure it out, and believe me, I tried.

I’ve seen Morgan before on HBO’s “Real Sex” series. Apparently she’s been in some Hollywood hits as well. I was familiar with her vocal patterns. If you’ve heard her, she speaks with a high-pitch, a touch of a lisp and a cute rasp.

It wasn’t exactly “The Soup,” but she was standing in front of a green screen with graphics projected all around her. There were cutaways to different clits clips reinforcing what she was talking about.

We don’t have HBO, and we don’t necessarily watch any kind of porn together (soft or otherwise). Tina didn’t protest leaving it on, so we watched it together.

I don’t remember the name of the show. The content was funny, and scientific in nature. It talked about pheromones and other sex trivia, like how many animals are monogamous. How many animals masturbate (Did you know deers masturbate?) And how many animals practice same-sex sex (This figure was off the charts). There were also pretty astonishingly pornographic cutaways of Morgan in different porn movies from the past. They included pre-boob job and post boob job Morgan. The pre-boob job Morgan was much hotter.

Yesterday, I was sitting at my computer and the clock said 3:30. I thought to myself, “Hey, it’s 30 minutes from the perfect time to have sex. I better get to it.” Then I thought, “Why am I thinking this?” I thought about it, and — as I was removing my pants and taking off my shirt, but leaving on my socks — I remembered that I saw it on that damn HBO show.

According to this show, the best time for a heterosexual couple to have sex is at 4 p.m. Morgan had charts and graphs to back it up! And if you could look past her wandering boob eyes and exposed vulva long enough to take note, you would have learned that too.

So for all you working stiffs with 9 to 5 jobs, you better start clocking out early every once in a while. Or take your spouses or lovers to work. Because 4 O’clock is the time to knock boots, batter dip the corn dog, dippity do da, fix the plumbing, churn the butter, hide the banana, pass the gravy, plant the seed, slab bellies, thread the needle, or stab the trout.

I can recommend, with some certainty … to some of you, but not all, that a little porn does the bedroom good. At least from my experience. I mean, after the credits rolled on the show, I didn’t have to initiate anything. Tina felt the spirit in a major way.

Woo hoo. Honk honk. Phllllbbbt.

You know, when I was thinking about the experience the next day, I couldn’t help but think, maybe Tina was turned on by a naked lady. Maybe she was down with a little of that ubiquitous male fantasy to manage a trois with another woman. But I didn’t ask her about it either. A part of me wanted to keep the fantasy alive.

All said, there were plenty of scenes of hetero sex on screen that would have worked fine. There were definitely scenes that would have turned on Tina’s headlights, bothered her bosom, reddened her holy cow, bleated her batter, randied her candy, put peas in her pot, constitutionally inclined her toward female gallantry.

There was even a shot of three dudes doing a Rockettes type dance, only instead of kicking their legs, they were swinging their twig and berries in a circular fashion. I mean, if that didn’t get Tina’s bedroom ire up, I don’t know what would. It must have reminded her of me getting out of the shower while listening to the local hip hop station.

The countdown to 4 p.m. is on, bitches!

I’m giving this one a double Honk daddy honk!


Boobie Wednesday; Welcome Strangers!

October 7, 2009

Apparently Boobie Wednesday is the newest Hallmark Holiday. Noooooo. It is a day to raise breast cancer awareness. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, among all the other crazy needs she’s had (kidney transplant, pancreas transplant, two (TWO!!!) quadruple bi-passes). All I’ve had to deal with are a couple faceplants. Bah dum buh.

My mom is a trooper. Thank science she’s made it this far. Verily I say unto you. :)

In honor of the awareness day every Wednesday, boobies run amok on Twitter. It’s making its way over to facebook, but not that quickly. I have one twitter pal right now with her boobs hanging out on facebook. I have to admit, I’m a little shy about putting my chest on facebook. The picture can be blown up more. And I don’t want to stir lustful thoughts in the minds of my weak friends. I mean look at that chest! Can you say, “Steroids”?

There’s a holy commandment app for that.

Anyway, in light of the fact that the word boobs will land me at least 50 extra hits today, Imma whore my picture then tag it left and right.

Naked BOOBIES unite! Spread awareness!

boobwednesday 3


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