I almost became a Catholic over the holiday break

On our ride down to North Carolina, Tina took over driving for a few hours. I took the time to rest my eyes and catch up on social media.

On my Facebook feed, a young, Catholic girl posted an article that blew my mind. I mean. I’m dying to see how this current pope is going to change the current dismal perspective of Catholicism, but this particular article threw their efforts into overdrive.

Here’s the article if you want to read it.


And then the mind blowing began.

This in particular:

In a speech that shocked many, the Pope claimed “All religions are true, because they are true in the hearts of all those who believe in them. What other kind of truth is there? In the past, the church has been harsh on those it deemed morally wrong or sinful. Today, we no longer judge. Like a loving father, we never condemn our children. Our church is big enough for heterosexuals and homosexuals, for the pro-life and the pro-choice! For conservatives and liberals, even communists are welcome and have joined us. We all love and worship the same God.”

And later:

“God is changing and evolving as we are, For God lives in us and in our hearts. When we spread love and kindness in the world, we touch our own divinity and recognize it. The Bible is a beautiful holy book, but like all great and ancient works, some passages are outdated. Some even call for intolerance or judgement. The time has come to see these verses as later interpolations, contrary to the message of love and truth, which otherwise radiates through scripture. In accordance with our new understanding, we will begin to ordain women as cardinals, bishops and priests. In the future, it is my hope that we will have a woman pope one day. Let no door be closed to women that is open to men!”

The words in that article, this passage above included, would almost — ***ALMOST*** — cure me of disbelief.

This section was pure gold:

Through humility, soul searching, and prayerful contemplation we have gained a new understanding of certain dogmas. The church no longer believes in a literal hell where people suffer. This doctrine is incompatible with the infinite love of God. God is not a judge but a friend and a lover of humanity.

When I read most of the article to Tina, her response was, “Man, I’d consider becoming a Catholic again.”

That’s the rub.

The article is so well written and so ideal to what the church should do, but it gets too caught up in hoity toity, we’re right, they’re wrong bullshit.

It took three paragraphs before I said to myself, and Tina, “This is satire. We’ve been duped.”

So I looked further at the web site it was hosted on and sure enough, the site is satire.

Gold, though. Gold. Pure greatness.

Cheers to those folks at Diversity Chronicle. That was the closest I’ve been in a LONG time to consider even considering the consideration of a considerate thought about admiring the church.

And then you see stuff like this story (about how white American evangelicals reject science), and all that hope for the world is a flatulent balloon sound.

But then there’s the following, and my hopes are rejuvenated.

Michael Voris kvetches over Ireland’s departure from the church

Legendary homophobe and perpetuator of inanity Michael Voris released a video decrying the decline of religion in Ireland.

I’ve been doing research lately into criticisms of atheism, and this video is certainly reflective of what I’m finding. Believers report on atheism as if it’s a bad thing, but the entire time  they deliver their message, all I hear is positive publicity for disbelief.

When I watch something like this, it encourages me. Thank, Michael Voris for spreading our good news under the pretext that it’s evil.

Oh yeah … I  like your haircut, guy.

Via Pharyngula

Pope Mohammed and the Quiz

“Question seven,” says Pope Mohammed. You’re spinning your pen on the roof of your forefinger. There’s a sheet of paper in front of you on a desk. On the paper, there are multiple choice answer options. Pope Mohammed is reading a quiz to you.

“Question seven,” repeats Pope Mohammed. “I offer you a piece of your favorite cake. I tell you that you can eat the cake, and you’re free to do so, but you will be water boarded for one hour if you do. Does that make me, A, an excellent person. B, a good person. C, a bad person. D, an evil person?”

You look down at the piece of paper, and all the answers have been the same to this point. Your pencil moves toward D, and you hear Pope Mohammed clear his throat. You look up, and look back down. You fill in the circle next to D.

“Question eight,” says Pope Mohammed. “If I tell you to go to war, and while at war, I command you to bash a child under the age of one against a rock, would that make me A, an excellent person. B, a good person. C, a bad person. Or D, an evil person?

Again, you go for D.

“Question nine,” says Pope Mohammed. “I explain to you that slavery is okay, and that you can have a slave in certain situations, depending in the culture and context. Does that make me A, an excellent person. B, a good person. C, a bad person. Or D, an evil person?”

You circle D.

“Okay, last question,” says Pope Mohammed. “If I tell you that executing a young girl whom I raped is the best response to the crime of adultery, would you consider me A, an excellent person. B, A good person. C, a bad person or D, an evil person?”

Your face winces. You feel nauseated after all the violence of these questions. You circle D.

Pope Mohammed reaches for your paper, picks it up and opens the cap to a red marker.

You hear the squeak as he marks on it.

He turns away from you and bends at the hip to write something on the flat of his desk where he’s been sitting.

He hands the paper back. At the top of the page, there’s a zero.

Underneath that, it says, “Every answer should have been A.”

“So I came out as an atheist to my Catholic wife of 6 years.”

After posting this story, I found a deconversion story that was impressive. I’m posting some here. Go read the rest at reddit.com:

We’ve been married over 6 years, been living together for about 10, we have a daughter who is about to be 3.

My wife grew up in Brooklyn as a Catholic, attending catholic school, mass, etc. While she isn’t active in practicing she does occasionally go to confession and we had to attend a catholic class before we got married (not by a catholic priest BTW) and before the baby was baptized, (not my choice but what is a little water?)

I always played the lazy reluctant when it came to anything religious, not wanting to rock her boat but not wanting to suffer hours of preached insanity ether. So I always avoided church and the issue with her.

Until two nights ago.

We were bored and had recently gotten a copy of The da Vinci Code for $3 when a local blockbuster closed, so we put it on. I have always been a history buff, particularly religious history, so I was pointing out the billions of incorrect assertions and the few correct legends etc. when she stops the movie and goes right to the topic I feared.

Read on