I’m too afraid to “like” this on Facebook

1013125_557110817671658_997819430_n

Two children’s book characters are cleaning chocolate off the floor and the caption reads, “This is the last time we try anal.”

Fucking Joanne Casey. She posted the above on her facebook version of “I have seen the whole of the internet” and i laughed so hard I spit popcorn everywhere.

I couldn’t bring myself to like it, because I was worried a family member would see that on their feed.

It is possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.

A LONG time.

I love it on so many levels.

You’re welcome.

Chick-Fil-Gay sammy from Hilahcooking.com … and it *was* better and friendly to gay marriage!

@hilahcooking #chick-fil-a #chick-fil-gay

When I saw the video from Hilah (pronounced “High La”) Cooking dot com, I set out to make that sandwich. Tina was out of town for a girls’ weekend over in Michigan.

So while she was in her jammies having pillow fights, I set up the lights and video camera and shot a cooking video in which I made the Chick-fil-Gay sandwich.

I know, I’m sure I could have just written about the experience. But then you wouldn’t get to see my face when I actually took a bite.

The breasts I bought were a bit bigger than I expected, so I probably should have fried them less and finished them in the oven. Or maybe I should have squashed them longer. Beat those breasts like the red-headed stepchild I never had.

I also tried the spicy version of the sandwich. I added some hot sauce to the marinade and cayenne to the breading. I should have added more sauce to the marinade.

The other thing about the recipe is, don’t forget the buns!

Hilah forgot to include that on her recipe. And while it might seem blatantly obvious, this dim bulb stuck to the list verbatim when shopping. I had to go back out and get buns while my chicken was marinating.

So don’t forget the buns, huns!

Apparently Hilah made the video about a month ago, long before the recent hullabaloo with the Chick-Fil-A CEO Don Cathy.

And if you leave out the marinating time, the recipe is fast. I would say hands on, I spent about 20 to 25 minutes cooking. I would totally make these for lunch-time guests or even a casual dinner.

I’ll put the recipe, the original video, and the new Q&A video below the fold.

Bon appétit!

Continue reading “Chick-Fil-Gay sammy from Hilahcooking.com … and it *was* better and friendly to gay marriage!”

With ugly face, I ask you: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!”

Saturday morning, I shot in the studio with Bill. It was a makeup shoot for a DJ group out of Texas. They’re actually really popular in some circles. You can read more about them here.

On Saturday night, Tina and I worked an amazing event. It was photography and video for a fundraiser in a high-end appliance showroom. A local chef donated his time to cook in a fully functioning kitchen made from appliances you can install in your home.

You, being the people that make so much money that buying a Porche and a Lamborghini in the same day would be like picking up a slushy at 7/11.

Some of the things we shoot, Tina and I stand there and pinch ourselves. We feel so honored to be a part, and due to our social standing, we may never have had the opportunity to rub elbows with this level of people.

The chef was preparing food for about 40 people. All of them paid about $300 to get in, plus they donate often to this cause. We were able to sample the dishes while we were working. We were able to listen to the chef fielding questions about why and what he was doing.

He made seven courses including appetizers, four dinner courses and dessert. He cooked lamb, duck, cow, and scallops. The place smelled heavenly.

from the chef on Saturday night

Hot tips straight from the chef’s mouth

Some of the hot tips he gave were:

  • Why you let meat rest. Cutting into meat that is just off the grill is like cutting into a person who has just run a marathon. They will bleed all over. Let the juices do their thing for four to five minutes.
  • Why aging meat is fine. One person asked about the idea that you shouldn’t eat at a seafood restaurant on Monday or Tuesday, because the meat is from Saturday. The chef explained that it’s not a bad thing. Meat needs time to settle and the muscles to relax. Eating fresh kill would be too tough.
  • Pat your steaks dry. Why? Because it encourages caramelization, which locks in moisture. I knew this, but didn’t know why.
  • Salt your food more if your grilling rather than pan frying. Salting meat for the grill means lots will fall off between the grates.

There was also a sommelier there who was explaining the wines that were coupled with each dish.

I hope you can understand how humbled and honored we were to not only be hired to be there, but allowed to taste and take part. It was awesome.

Salad from Sunday

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!

Sunday, we were supposed to be in the studio in the afternoon, but the gig was postponed.

It worked out, because Tina and I walked and played with Talulah. And we spent some quality time with my brothers-in-law Michael and his partner Jason.

Lately, we haven’t been able to get together every Sunday as often as we have in the past. Our schedules tend to conflict more often. Michael and Jason run a record store together. And Tina and I get more work on Sundays.

For those of you who don’t know, we have a standing Sunday date with the guys to shop and either cook or eat out together.

We picked up Michael and Jason around 4:30. We shopped at Whole Foods. The place was jampacked. There were more people there than I’d ever seen. It’s in a good neighborhood, so the people watching is great. There are women in coverups from the beach. Dudes in leather. Or in their workout clothes from the gym. You get trannys, alt kids, punks, hotties and not-so hotties. Or the people are dressed up from church. And everything in between.

We bought some squid and skirt steak, with loads of veggies. If we cook, rather than go out, Michael cooks. Once in a while, I help out or cook one dish. But primarily Michael does it.

Driving in the city on the weekends is nuts. Don’t do it!

The thing about Chicago on weekends is everyone is trying to get somewhere. It’s neighborhood rush hour … all afternoon. During the warm months, it’s the worst. I’m an obnoxious yeller out the window. It’s both funny and annoying at the same time. If you’re on your phone or texting, I give all kinds of hell. But yesterday, the tables were turned.

When I pulled out of Whole Foods parking lot, a little red car let me in front of him. Great. I waved. I had to stop in traffic for a traffic light.

I had to turn left at the light, and  I put on my signal.  When the light turned, we all inched forward. I stopped at the light to wait for traffic, and the guy behind me honked at me and screamed out his window (with the funniest, ugly face you’ve ever seen), “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?”

“Driving!” I screamed. We all laughed. When this happens, you have to ask yourself, “What did I do wrong? What did he see me do that was wrong?” I offended him somehow, but I was oblivious.

For the rest of the ride, I kept yelling out the window, “What are you doing!?!”

Oh, it was fun.

Then we got to a green light and the car in front of me stopped and waved some pedestrians in front of her car. I honked at her and screamed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? GO. You have a green light!”

The girl finally went. The pedestrians yelled at me, something like, “Chill out, mother fucker.”

And I said, “Relax, I wasn’t yelling at you. You’re the assholes who can’t wait for a walk sign.”

“Jeremy, shut up!” yelled Tina. “Don’t you know they could have guns?!?”

“What are they going to do? Shoot at our moving car in the daytime? That’d be reasonable.”

We all laughed and bantered the rest of the ride.

Quick dinner idea

One of my go-to grilled dinner options when I want to cook, but I don’t want to spend a lot of time in preparation is a slightly marinated pork chop with a veggie side of choice.

The marinade is quick and tasty. You buy as many chops as you’re going to want to serve. Wipe them with a paper towel. Add pepper, drizzle a bit of soy sauce (about a tablespoon per side), and use a garlic mince to add as much garlic to taste. I do about one clove per side. So for two pork chops, I use four cloves.

Just eyeball the amounts. It’s not going to ruin it.

Turn the meat over and do the same on the other side. Let them sit for about 30 to 60 minutes in the fridge.

One side option is to get a bundle of asparagus, drizzle olive oil over the stalks with about an inch or more of the bottoms lobbed off. Salt and pepper them, and toss in some garlic powder.

On the grill, 350 to 400 degree heat, I go about 5.5 minutes per side. I add my asparagus after the first pork chop flip to a coolish part of the grill. I pull the meat off 5.5 minutes later to rest for 3 to 5 minutes. I let the thermometer reach 170.

Remove the asparagus and serve.

Don’t forget to take a picture.

Mmmm, reblog: Onion rings used as egg molds

Stan at TYWKIWDBI posted these awesome looking eggs molded inside of an onion ring.

He quoted this:

Preparation instructions from Apron Strings:

Slice your onion into 1/2 inch slices. Then, using the biggest one, place in an oiled skillet over medium heat. When one side is lightly browned, flip the onion ring over and crack an egg in the middle. If you want the egg yolk to show, dab the top of the egg yolk gently with a paper towel and remove the white over the top of it. Then, sprinkle a little water in the pan and cover the skillet. Cook until your egg is done as you like.

You can also make eggs in avocado and in bell pepper slices. 

I’m trying it!

Sleepy Balinese man

Moving through some of the images from the trip, I found this little gem of a man sleeping in a little Balinese style cabana.

Thought you’d like to see it.

The below image is an odd one, too. I caught this kid’s eye right as he was coming down with his little coconut machete knife. A little to the left, and the guy would be one thumb short of a pair.

Notice the little, non-sexual-in-any-way spurt that’s squirting from the coconut ball.

Let’s meet for coffee at Streetbucks

Just for fun, I wanted to post this shot of a coffee shop on the Jalan Raya, Tanah Lot, Bali.

There was a clearly ripped off logo for Streetbuck’s Coffee, where you could buy such drinks as an Ice Cappucino [sic], an Ice Mocha Blash (what’s a blash?) and a Hot Strawberry.

I don’t know about you, but a Hot Strawberry sounds fairly unappetizing.

Hey Tina, we need to go back and taste a hot strawberry drink so we can report on it on the blog. 

And you thought you had everything you needed for your kitchen

Rarely will I see anything in gadget magazines and think, “Holy crap, I need that thing!”

I’m typically pretty damn cheap, and I will look at stuff that appeals to me at first glance, and assure myself I don’t need it.

Oddly enough, this is one of those residual childhood psychological things. When I wanted something as a youngster, my mom made me wait 24 hours before buying it.

At the end of 24 hours, if I still wanted it, I could buy the item … with my own cash. Often, I would bail on the item for something else. And by the time I got around to buying anything, I would lose interest in all of the items.

Why do I go on these tangents?

But I really think I could use this doohickie you stick into a lemon or lime to spray your food with its juices. The thing is called “Stem” and you can see more about the product here.

I like the idea of having a spray bottle for olive oil, too. Sometimes I don’t need to drizzle it on things. I need it to spray.

So if you’re looking for mid-January gifts for yours truly, these are the things I would like.

Just sayin’

Collected funny image alert!

 

 

iPhone style message bubble says, “i don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, i’d drink it.” 

Illustrative graphic of bacon in bed says, “This is how bacon bits are made.” One bacon says to the other, “I’m not on the pill.” 


Two cats, one has its tail in front of the others eyes, says, “These aren’t my glasses.” 

 

SIgn on door says: “Children left unattended will be eaten or sold into slavery.”

 

 

Illustrative graphic of facebook, twitter, wordpress, youtube, blogger logos in bombs says, “Weapons of Mass Distraction.”