Megyn Kelly puts the smack down on her FOX colleagues.

Tina grew up in a single-parent, mom-dominated household and she turned out to be the biggest jerk, fuckup ever.

I mean, all she does is lay around shooting up herion and staring at the ceiling.

She’s as good as fucking vegetable.

At least there’s a voice on FOX who stuck up for reasonable thought.

The men on that show above cry about the apocalyptical changes in the world … they are no different than guys 60 years ago screaming about the changes in the world.

Embrace it, assholes. The world changes. That there’s the facts.


FOX News: Paul Ryan’s speech was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies


More here.

In an attempt at transparency, the writer Sally Kohn is a liberal-leaning lesbian. However, it is somewhat surprising that this was published at FOX’s web site.

However, there’s some interesting tidbits in there.

The three words she used to describe Ryan are, Dazzling, Deceiving, and Distracting. Although many more than three words follow.

My thoughts of last night’s speeches were:

  • If they brought up their love for their kids and their parents and grandparents one more time, I was going to scream. How about thinking further. How about a bigger picture than your personal little ones? That’s the summation of the republican party, small-minded, myopic, I can only see immediate results and no long term.
  • Yes, Paul Ryan is a dynamic speaker. Although his speech reflected the “our audience is 5 years old, so I gotta talk slow” mentality.
  • And I will say again, Condie Rice blew her party out of the water. Her cerebral approach reflects the kind of REAL leadership we need in this country.


FOX News to its viewers, “You’re all sheep.”

FOX News sent out its Christmas cards, and you can find a photo of one above. The FOX sleigh, pulled by sheep (sheep?) is beating out the NBC, ABC and CBS. MSNBC and CNN aren’t even racing. They are looking on from the sidelines.

Isn’t it cute?

Isn’t it clever?

FOX News is winning thanks to the sheep pulling the sleigh.

Isn’t that the best way to say thanks to your viewers? Call them sheep, mindless animals with no sense, common sense or otherwise.

So the next time you find yourself helping FOX News’ ratings, be sure to say “Baaaaa” a few times. And eat from your trough. Because that’s how your news agency views you.

You bleating, mindless, cretinous sheep.

They said it, not me.


Graphics schmaphics

I love these, pick on puny little FOX News posts. I mean, FOX is the home of Fair and Balanced.

And it shows.

Take the below chart marking unemployment over the last year under Obama. Looks pretty good right? Isn’t it interesting how 8.6% is marked higher than March’s 8.8%?


Well, take a look at this one. Maybe it’ll help you out a little.

Here’s what the chart should look like:

Do you want to know why it doesn’t look like the last chart?

Because FOX News is fair and balanced, that’s why. FOX News viewers are the most educated, balanced, new finders in the world.

They are [spit, ding] pound sign one!


The best Arrested Development line … ever

There are many quotable lines from Arrested Development, but none of them are funnier nor as greatly delivered as Buster saying (through Franklin), “I don’t want no part of your tight ass white country club you freak bitch!”

Oh glorious, glorious Arrested Development.

Thanks, Tina!

Remember when

After Dorothy's departure, Blanche, Rose and S...

Image via Wikipedia

Remember when eye contacts rose in popularity during the 80s? Sitcom writers overused the, “Nobody move! I think I just lost a contact” line so many times it wasn’t funny.

There were entire scenes in movies dedicated to entire groups of people on their hands and knees looking for a contact that was stuck on a person’s clothing.

Those were the flash mobs of the 80s. You’d turn a corner at an airport, and entire groups of strangers were on their hands and knees searching for some woman’s lost contact.

I think it’s finally time to bring those jokes back, writers. It would be funnier than some of the shit you’re putting out right now.

I’ve been disappointed with TV lately. Shows that I looked forward to before suck.

When FOX announced Mitchell Hurwitz‘s new show Running Wilde, I was excited. I updated on facebook that people should watch it. The pilot cracked me up, and that usually means the show is going to be a blast.

Boy, was I wrong.

You will never know the guilt I feel for telling other people to watch a stinker. I have struggled daily with the idea that I should write a public apology on facebook, but I imagine it would add insult to injury.

Hurwitz created Arrested Development and wrote on several funny sitcoms, including The Golden Girls. There’s supposedly an Arrested Development movie in the making. I used to be excited about it. But now I’m worried.

Other shows that have disappointed me are 30 Rock and Community. If I only laugh once during a show, my interest declines quickly. I’m lucky if I get one laugh in on those two shows lately.

One show I’ve been happy with is Modern Family. The characters are great, and the writing has been surprisingly good. My complaint about the show is lighting. As much as they try to make it look everyday home lighting (opposed to studio lighting), they always screw it up.

The cast of Human Target. From left to right: Guerrero, Ames, Chance, Pucci and Winston.


I still like Human Target, but whatever the producers did to the opening credits needs to be changed back. They tried to rock out the music, and it ruined it for me. I almost stopped watching because of it.

Change it back, producers!

The addition of the hot, head woman Ilsa Pucci (Indira Varma) is very welcome to the previously all-male reoccurring actors. Of course I am a sucker for latin-looking, curly-haired women. And by sucker, I mean drooly McDrooly pants. There’s another new character named Ames (Janet Montgomery), but until she stops wearing too much eye makeup, I think I’m going to only lust after her a little.

There was a scene in a recent episode in which Ames scootches through an air duct during a break-in scene. She’s only wearing a bra and very little on bottom and she’s covered in oil. The oil was for increasing viewership, but they said in the script it was to help her fit through a tiny hole. She drops from the ceiling at one point, and I almost passed out.

The show makes a lot of visual homages to movies and shows that I like, and the plots and action rarely let me down considering it’s just a TV show with a small percentage of the budget a big picture gets.

For instance, in the scene above when Ames dropped from the ceiling, they made a visual homage to Kill Bill when Uma Thurman dropped from the ceiling at O-Ren Ishii‘s compound.

That’s my TV blog in a nutshell. It’s a larger nut than I thought.

Hey producers and writers, thank you for being a friend, and make my favorite shows better again!

I ask this a lot, but are there any shows you’re watching right now that are worth mentioning? Did I piss you off, because you like one of the shows that I criticized?

Do tell.

Fox News: Parents Outraged Over School Book Portraying Jesus as a “Socialist”

Because telling people to give up earthly goods, to go out of their way for the poor, and destroying commerce that lines people’s pockets at church is nothing but capitalistic.

It won’t be the first time I’ve been told I took the holy book out of context if you tell me in the comments.


December 13, 2010 on Fox News – via