Happy Negative Two Week Day!

My dearest Tina blogged about our experience yesterday at the fertility doctor. You should read it. Tina talks about her experience during the last week.

You gotta give it to her, she’s a trooper. T hates needles with a passion second to none. On top of that, she’s being pumped with hormones. She almost fainted yesterday during phlebotomy. Tina’s the sweetest pumpkin on earth, and she was more concerned about disrupting the phlebotomists’ day that she worked herself up more than she needed.

So what are you waiting for, go read it. There’s even pictures of her our follicles. If all this goes through, and we get socked with twins (hell yeah!), we’re going to show our little ones these pictures and say, “Here’s you at negative 2 weeks! Happy Negative Two Weeks Day! Now eat your cake! And clean up your room! And read another book!”

(Did you like how I threw in some discipline to my negative two week year olds?)

Let’s Go Trick or Treating at the Fertility Clinic

Just an update for all who are following our pursuit in fertility, Tina and I started shots on Friday evening. At the time, we still had guests over from dinner, but we had to get the shot done at around 8 p.m.

Tina, Tina’s cousin Kelly and I went into our bedroom and shut the door. Kelly held Tina down and I plunged the shot into Tina’s abdomin so hard that it knocked the wind out of her.

Not really .

Fortunately Kelly was there to help me administer the injection. Tina is deathly afraid of needles, and for the first couple doses, I decided that documenting the live action through video might not work right now. It would be interesting to view as a case study, but I’m not sure Tina would sign off on making that public. She’s the boss, so we’re going with that.

Basically, Kelly talked Tina through it. Tina’s emotions and adverse hate for needles made it difficult to be calm enough to go through with it. Once it’s done, the pinch is harsh enough to bother Tina. But I think she’s starting to see that it’s going to hurt a little. But after 10 minutes, the pain is gone and we’re golden.

Friday night, Tina complained of nausea, which is a common side effect. This might also been mixed with the entire emotional side of the first dose, and her adrenaline subsiding may have adversely affected her. Sunday morning, Tina complained of feeling bloated, which is a common side effect. She had to take her wedding rings off. Today she felt okay, but she took off her rings before bed, so who knows.

How it works (at least how I understand how it works) is, we give a series of 5 or 6 shots of a particular hormone that lead up to one major shot that causes a surge in fertility. The dose I’m giving Tina is 150 mg. When the allotted days are up and Tina enters ovulation, There is a window of time to deliver yet another semen sample into a cup. We bring the sample to the lab where they “wash” it and administer another injection into Tina with a blast of super sperm.

The super sperm fertilize 60 eggs and all grow and develop with amazing super human powers. In 9 short months, we’ll have a small population of super Wittifini’s that will be the beginning of the end of the universe.

I’m really not sure why there’s not a super hero based on fertility treatments.

There are possibilities of multiples in this treatment. Quite frankly, I would love to go ahead and rock out two to 90 kids. Okay, 90 might kill me Tina. How about three on the high side.

Three might be a little wacky, but hey, fertility fate may have different ideas for me.

In case you’re curious about it at all, here’s a quick video I found of a woman who is not affected by the pain of injection:

Infertility Monster (NSFW)

tina and jer sad about fertility
I drew this illustration, because I don't have a picture of us with a thought bubble coming out.

My wife Tina and I have been diagnosed as infertile with scientific proof to bat. We’ve been trying to conceive for over a year. We worked closely with Tina’s OB/GYN for over three months in the spring to see what she could do. After it seemed that the OB/GYN’s efforts were ineffective, we sought fertility clinic help.

Since September, we’ve been pricked, prodded and probed. Tina had one ultrasound of her cervix that was devastatingly painful. Guys, could you imagine having your penis hole opened large enough to fit a freight train inside? That’s how bad it was. After other various tests, including HIV and STD tests, as well as semen samples from me, we’ve been diagnosed with potentially “curable” infertility.
Continue reading “Infertility Monster (NSFW)”