Ever since I deconverted, when I’m in a church, I’ll say, “See, no lightning. The place is still standing.”
Old wive’s tales are always debunked. God won’t strike you down if you offend him. He strikes you down if you love him.
A Knoxville man and woman pissed off god recently. Just before a doting boyfriend proposed to his gooey-eyed girlfriend while on a hike, god must have just finished a huge bowl a beans. He let one rip right through the clouds and into Bethany Lott’s smiling face.
Lott’s last words were:
‘God baby, look at it. Isn’t it beautiful?’
Also, you should assume the girl had a thick southern drawl. Go ahead and read that line again. Read it like the couple in “Evil Dead II” when the girl says, “Bobby Joe, you’re holdin’ my hand too tight.”
Bobby Joe says, “Baby, I ain’t holdin your hand!”
And instead of everyone screaming about the severed hand attached to Lott’s hand, scream about lightning flashing out of the heavens into the head of the one you love.
Go ahead. I’ll wait here.
Fuggetabout it. She’s dead.
Doesn’t it seem like there’s a comma issue in that sentence?
‘God, baby, look at it. Isn’t it beautiful?’
Maybe I should contact the editors of the story. Or maybe god smote her because she called her boyfriend “god baby”.
From the article:
KNOXVILLE (WATE) – A Knoxville man was minutes from proposing to his girlfriend on a hike in Western North Carolina Friday when she was struck and killed by lightning.
“Everything went black. I was spun 180 degrees, thrown several feet back. My legs turned to jelly. My shoes were smoking and the bottom of my feet felt like they were on fire,” Richard Butler said.
For a moment, he said he thought he was the only one hit by the bolt of lightning.
However, it was his girlfriend Bethany Lott, 25, who took the direct hit. She was hiking just a few feet in front of him.
“I crawled to her, rolled her over. They say she was gone automatically, but I tried CPR for probably 15 minutes,” Butler says.
He says they were nearly to the top of Max Patch Bald, a place Bethany was taking him for the first time.
What is the moral to this story? Don’t admire nature? Don’t get married? Don’t hold a lightning rod just before a wedding proposal?
As the religious say, you’ll have to ask go when you get to heaven. Or, you can think rationally and say, that couple was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
After speaking with Richard Butler personally on the telephone, I have responded in a new post which can be read here.