Ahhh Hells Bells, the battle is raging over Rob Bell

The moment I saw the video I posted about Rob Bell’s forthcoming book “Love Wins,” I emailed a link to my brother Jon and said, “I think you’ll like this video from Rob Bell.”

He responded and said, “Cool. Looks great.”

Then a few minutes later, he emailed and said, “I ordered a copy!”

I posted here a couple times about it. Over the weekend, it landed many hits here at Le Café. I wasn’t aware that it was trending on twitter. But throughout the weekend, Rob Bell got eclipsed by drunk-driving bitch whore Debra Oberlin, who apparently is more popular than hell.

You see, Jon and I talk about once a week, sometimes more. My family is Christian and I’m the black sheep atheist. Jon is not thrilled (no one is) that I’ve gone the route of a non-believer, but he has made a great effort to be the same best friend he was to me before. I’m so grateful for that. Over time, he’s become more comfortable, and I’ve asked that he behave in all the same ways as before. He tells me when he’s praying for me, and he tells me when he feels attacked by the devil. I’m so glad that he feels that comfort level again.

Earlier this week, Jon and I talked on the phone. He said he’s been following the battle within the Christian camp (which is dizzyingly vast). Real Christians™ believe in hell, heaven and the resurrection. That trinity is more important than the father, son and holy ghost.

The quibble over the invisible is never ending.

Without hell, Christians can’t scare children into holding onto the gospel through adulthood. Jesus just ain’t good enough to latch onto. They NEED hell.

So for a pastor with the notoriety of Rob Bell to insinuate, “Hey, there might not be a hell.” This is big stuff. If a pastor of a little, po-dunk church in rural Wyoming said it, no one would bat an eye. But Rob Bell has influence over many thousands.

Rob Bell saying it is an iPad 2 announcement game changer. Rob Bell is the Steve Jobs of Christianity … and frankly (and I hope it’s true), he could change EVERYTHING.

Back to my conversation with Jon. Jon sounded deflated about it. He said, “People are criticizing Rob Bell, calling him a Universalist … and they haven’t even read the book yet.” He paused and then he said, “Just read the freaking book.”

My dad sent me an article from Christianity Today (link) yesterday that spells out more of the controversy. Dad reads this blog just as closely as anyone I know, and I he’s a mighty solid Christian, too. He’s one that the world can admire, especially because he puts up with all the shit I write here. But more so because he’s very well read and articulate about what he believes.

That Christianity Today article also calls Bell a Universalist. Apparently calling a “Christian” a universalist is a pejorative. Thems are fightin’ words!

If Jesus were so goddamn clear, why the hellfire are there so many sects and so many interpretations of the bible? I know this isn’t a new question and Christians have a hundred different ways to respond … but it doesn’t change the fact that they can’t agree on damn near anything.

I want to point out that Bell discounts hell in his book “Velvet Elvis” which was published about 6 years ago. So it’s not new for Rob Bell to say this. It’s just that this new book puts it in the title. And since most Christians don’t read anyway, they would never get past the front of the book.


Also, I want to point out that hell is the simplest Christian doctrine to discount. I was able to do it as a Christian … long before I stuck a flag in atheism. I’m surprised it’s taken this long for topic to dry up … but it never will entirely … because Christianity NEEDS it.

I was reading the article in Christianity Today, and it ends with a quote from the Christian Deity named Rick Warren. Warren is a god among Christianity, and anyone who says Christianity is a monotheistic religion is blowing smoke up your ass. Warren says, “I believe in hell because Jesus says it’s real & he knows more about it than anyone.”

I laughed so loud when I read that that my neighbors sent a squad car.

The non-biblical tradition that guys like Warren tell their mega-churches is, “When Jesus died, he spent three days in hell.” What a load of malarkey. So Warren tells everyone this and it is gospel.

The short of it is, Christianity needs Rob Bell, and it desperately needs to follow his lead. If there’s a guy who models a form of Christianity that I started to agree with as a Christian … it’s the version he writes about in his books and talks about in his video series. He’s what I consider a smart Christian … and it’s high time Warren got on his weepy knees and asked for an ounce of the smarts that Rob Bell has.

Warren’s purpose-driven life focus should be, “Become more like Rob Bell.”

Hey Christians … you’re making a HUGE mistake by demonizing Rob Bell. You should stop. Rob Bell actually makes you guys look cool.

But who am I? A humanist with an atheist voice who has no following as large as Rick Warren’s or Rob Bell’s. I’m easily discounted. If only there were a way to become a hugely adored Christian … and then break the news. I’m doing this all wrong.

Last night’s dinner, Hoisin-Glazed Boneless Ribs with a side of … Rob Bell

Last night I made hoisin-glazed boneless ribs with garlic broccoli. It was supposed to be broccolini, but my local grocery store was out of broccolini, and I didn’t feel like driving to a Whole Foods to find some.

I have determined that my local grocer is a broccolini hater.

The hoisin-glazed boneless ribs was a first-time recipe for me. I tend to feel like I screw up first attempts at recipes, so I don’t put a lot of time into the photo of a first-time recipe. It ended up being okay. The dark bits on the meat weren’t burned. They were places where the hoisin clumped up.

While I was cooking the pork, it seemed the recipe was lying and I lowered the heat before it said to do so. It was a mistake, and I kicked myself for it later.

I have learned that I should have trust in recipes from experts, because they have done this very act a thousand times and they are the professionals.

It’s like airline piloting or … science. The professionals in those fields are usually trust worthy. I almost wrote that I should have “faith” in professionals, but that’s not accurate. “Faith” isn’t the same thing. Faith isn’t even in the same ballpark.

Trust is different than “faith.” Faith is belief in something unseen. But I can see, taste, smell and hear the cooking experience. I can verify with my senses that a professional is communicating a recipe for a successful meal. Faith, on the other hand, has no such provable outcome.

Last night, the skeptic in me took over and it almost cost me the recipe. I ended up having to cook the meat longer, thus drying some pieces out. Trust the recipe and the meal will be a success. Doubt the recipe and the results may suck, and pizza delivery or making a sandwich may be the only salvation.

This is where I shove a wooden square in a round hole.

This may be contrived to say, but many believers see the bible as a recipe book for success. And in some ways, there are some good bits of advice in the book. But the book is also littered with a LOT of bad advice. So one part of the recipe says, “Love your neighbor as yourself” and the next bit says, “Hate your family and love Jesus.”

This is not a recipe for success. It’s a recipe that can’t be saved with a pizza delivery or a sandwich.

As opposed to cooking (or science), world religions require faith in the unseen and the unprovable. I criticize people for not acknowledging that. Religious people should recognize what it really is, and I think Rob Bell sort of does that for Christians — which is why people like my uncle think he’s full of shit.

Religion recipes often result in bad-tasting social behavior, which is why I don’t trust it. I want to trust that the outcome of my thoughts and behaviors are going to have positive results on my neighbors both near and far.

Chew on that for a second. Or don’t.

Last night, I checked my site stats before turning out the light. Le Café got a nice hit boost yesterday thanks to the post about Rob Bell.

I added a comment this morning to lure people into a conversation. I would imagine that anyone who likes Rob Bell isn’t a typical believer, and therefore might be worthy of a conversation.

Who knows if it will do any good.

Happy Sunday!

Rob Bell: Love Wins

There’s a new book from Rob Bell, a Christian pastor from Michigan, called “Love Wins” coming out at the end of March. I’ve read Rob Bell before, and he’s not horrible.

One of my uncles doesn’t think he qualifies as a Christian, so that means he must be doing something right.

Here’s what the book is about:

[Love Wins is a] Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived.

Rob Bell addresses one of the most controversial issues of faith—the afterlife—arguing, would a loving God send people to eternal torment forever…? With searing insight, Bell puts hell on trial, and his message is decidedly hopeful—eternal life doesn’t start when we die; it starts right now. And ultimately, Love Wins.

Resident regular-reading believer Julie Ferwerda posted this video on facebook the other day, and I thought I would at least act as a sort of proponent of the book here. I certainly don’t agree with the message, but I can see the value in the message. It appears more and more Christians are sincerely trying to bridge the gap between Christianity and other ways of thought. And for that, we have to at least give it a nod.

WordPress won’t let me embed these videos, but give it a watch. It’s worth it at least for the photography and production value.

If I get my hands on a copy, I’d love to at least review it here.

Above is a screen cap.