See you next Tuesday Anne Graham Lotz: Pornography Sign of End Times

Anne Graham Lotz says that pornography — a non-human army —  is seeping into society like a locust invasion. It’s destroying culture, and it’s a sign of the end times.

If by “sign of the end times” she means a rise in my Levis, well, spot on good, Anne. You’ve nailed it right on the head.

You’ve splattered the truth right over your own face.

You’ve predicted the battle of the bulge against my shorts. You’ve prophesied the tent making skills of the one-eyed monster wearing a skin turtleneck.

What’s that? Huh.

Speak up. I am having trouble understanding.

Anne Graham Lotz thinks pornography will usher in the apocalypse and she’s not happy about it?

Is she a freaking idiot?

The end times equals an early meeting with her savior Jesus. She’ll finally meet her maker and she’s talking like it’s a bad thing?

Well, shrivel me wieners.

What a prude.

I like your spray tan, Anne. And your necklace.

They make me think of this sweet porn site that my Christian friends told me about.




Say no to jobs

Tina and I were scheduled to do some architecture photography this morning.

After talking to the client several times over the past few weeks, we negotiated a lower rate that they requested. But we wrote a contract that specified that the images they were going to get wouldn’t live up to the quality that we could give with a larger budget. If they wanted better images, we wrote in the pricing they should anticipate. We wrote that any images we used for professional promotion would get that treatment, but that they would have to pay for those images should they choose to use them.

You see, photos out of camera are rarely “pro”. And by that, I mean, photos need work for the most part for a myriad of reasons. Contrast, focus, color and saturation are typically the first things to move. And there are many layers of additional work after that which can be done.

Last night at 10:45 p.m., the client sent over 60 images from another photographer that the client had mixed feelings about, but she didn’t say which ones worked and which ones didn’t.

Keep in mind — this was the night before we were to shoot at sunrise.

I could see why the images were pro. But the client didn’t get corrected images. So they saw mixed light. They saw things that they shouldn’t have, because a pro would remove them.

So I drew up an email that said, essentially, go fuck yourself. We’re not going to a job that we are destined to fail. I’ve made that mistake before.

Call me crazy.

Let’s put it this way. Say you’re an architect and someone hands you a hand-drawn set of blueprints that didn’t use a ruler or T-square and said, “Build me this building. Make sure it is properly built and fulfills all modern needs and requirements.”

You’d get the rough equivilent of a 12-year old’s treehouse.

Take the shot that I posted yesterday. It wasn’t my favorite from the day, but I get itchy about sharing images. You’ll see the original is a little dark. It’s crooked. The color is weird, and the light is wonky on the model’s face.

In the worked image, I straightened it adding sand to the lower left. I brightened her eyes. Replaced texture in her hair. Ironed out some of the wrinkles in her dress. Gave the fogginess in the background a little more contrast. And if you look closer, I removed a little guy in the water hundreds of feet away and a plane in the air.


This isn’t even that great of an example. And frankly, there’s still work that I would do if I were to really use this one.

I called the client this morning to discuss. Of course they were frustrated. But talking it through helped, and we talked about a reschedule. Oddly enough, the client kept putting her foot in her mouth. She’d say, “After using all these high-dollar photographers, we want to use you because you’re giving us this cheap rate.” Great, so now I’m cheap and someone they can push around?

She also made on other comment before she made one that I almost hung up the phone over.

The client explained that they were going to North Carolina on Thursday, and would love to have it by then.

I said, “Oh cool, where in North Carolina?” I’m from there. I’m always interested.

She said, “Does it matter? Everyone there are homophobes and rednecks! It’s a huge contrast to Brooklyn where I’m from.”

So, North Carolina, if you’re reading this … you have a reputation with those liberal New Yorkers. Doesn’t it suck to be lumped in with the jerks and the low-lifes?

I’m sure atheists don’t understand at all.


Global Warm this: If Crazy was a horse race, North Carolina is taking the lead

When Science hands North Carolina hard, indisputable facts about Global Warming, North Carolina knows what to do with it.

Just like a Yeshua Fog parent with a gay child, they ignore him, that’s what.

They throw him or her out with the bathwater.

Ignorance … [strong inhale] … that’s the shit, man.

Cough. Cough.


From that liberal rag the LA Times:

As a coastal state, North Carolina faces the same global climate challenges of rising sea levels and turbulent weather that island countries and other coastal regions have begun to confront, and to ask what to do next: Do they build walls? Draw their population inland and upland?

Here’s the NoCa solution: pretend it’s not happening. Pass a law saying it can’t happen because we say it can’t. Which is to say, ban any government agency from using the standard scientific tools like extrapolating data to figure out what’s happening, and thus avoid all those scary, silly scientific facts and figures.

North Carolina cannot get out of the spotlight. With her batting down of the homos left and right and now the blind-eye turning, Global-Warming avoiding perspective they’re now legislating … we can only hope someone is right and Jesus comes back to swoop up all these yahoos into the heavens.

Just kidding. I have no proof that Jesus is ever coming back. It’s not like, say, Global Warming or anything.

Besides family and friends live in NC. Or NoCa as the article writes.

Let’s all bow our heads into our open palms and shake our heads back and forth.

What else can we do?

The Crazy is winning the horserace in NoCa, and nobody noticed my sweet-ass, larger-than-Audrey-Hepburn’s hat that I’ve been wearing.

What a bummer.

Thanks, Xina!

North Carolina you’re famous! You made it to Al Jazeera!

Published on Jun 6, 2012 by AlJazeeraEnglish

The rural US town of Maiden in North Carolina has become the latest flashpoint in an often bitter national debate about gay rights.

Arguments from either side intensified after President Barack Obama earlier this month declared his support for gay marriage.

In rural America’s so called, “Bible Belt”, many pastors have been rhetorical and at times hateful in their condemnation.

A recent sermon posted online by a pastor, in which he outlines a plan to imprison homosexuals behind an electric fence and keep them there until they die, has gone viral.

Al Jazeera’s Kimberly Halkett reports from Maiden.


Come here and give me a hug, North Carolina

Oh North Carolina, we’re not upset with you over passing amendment one. Not one bit. You did what your pastors and church leadership told you to do, and you should be happy with that.

We aren’t going to call you ignorant. We won’t call you a bunch of backwoods rednecks. We’re not going to call you unschooled, unenlightened, unevolved assholes. That would be so mean.

We aren’t going to label you the red-headed stepchild of the United States, or post pictures of you wearing hairy ape costumes.

We won’t call you stupid retards or rally against you as the dumbass state.

Don’t you know that calling names would be juvenile?

We’re not going to criticize you for taking North Carolina back to the olden days when illiterate, bigotry and homophobia reigned supreme.

We’re not going to break up with you just because you’ve just tattooed a huge L on your forehead.

We aren’t even going to bother sending you angry emails or tweets. That would be so wrong.

Nope, we’re going to let your silly little mistakes go unmentioned. We’re going to hide them in the closet with the rest of your sins.

We’re not going to talk about your adulterous affair with South Carolina, when you know you’re married to Virginia. Remember when you took the virgin out of Virginia, that was such a great, bloody romp in the hay, right?

We’re not even going to mention the one time you hooked up with Tennessee and Georgia in the best threesome of your lives.

No sirree bob, your secrets of torrid affairs and gay love triangles are safe with us.

We can keep a secret.


See you next Tuesday, North Carolina. Hope to see you soon!

Billy Graham: The bible’s definition of marriage is clear, I just don’t have any room to show you where the bible says it on this full-page ad

Isn’t it amazing.

Billy Graham takes out a full-page ad (above) supporting heterosexual marriage in North Carolina, claims in the ad that the bible is clear on the topic, and yet there’s not one citation to the bible.

He writes:

“The Bible is clear – God’s definition of marriage is between a man and a woman.”

Dear reader, please show me this clear passage. Show me it, and in the meantime, I’ll show you 100 clearer stories of marriage that oppose one man/one woman.

When this is your message, you clearly need to find a new resource for morality.

Vote AGAINST, North Carolina.

Let compassion and humanism — clearly the authority on morality and human behavior — guide your decision. Not this morally corrupt, contemptible excuse for a leader of people.