The People who Mattered in 2010

Glenn Beck – The Lone Voice Of Reason In An Age Of Hysteria

From a very reliable source:

In what has increasingly become an era defined by pandemonium, rancor, and blind ignorance, one stabilizing voice emerged from the din this year to soothe the souls of Americans everywhere, make us recognize the common decency that binds us all, and supplant the poisonous aura of fear and chaos with a simple, well-thought-out message of peace, prosperity, and reconciliation.

That man is television and syndicated radio host Glenn Beck.

Every single day of 2010, Beck’s quiet words of humility and reason have touched the hearts of all Americans, healing countless wounds and elevating the level of our national discourse. Indeed, just as Martin Luther King, Jr.—to whom Beck has so aptly and correctly compared himself—once showed the nation the way forward to compassion and civility, so have Beck’s stunningly eloquent broadcasts, inspiring political rallies, and bestselling books reassured every living citizen that we are all joined by the same ever-beating heart of kindness, and that gentler roads lie ahead if we could all just settle down, lower our voices, and focus on solving the actual, meaningful problems of our world together.

For in these troubled times of rising unemployment, political infighting, anger, and persecution, America needs a man who can put the issues in perspective and bring us comfort; a man who cares not about race, creed, sexual orientation, or party affiliation; a man who sees beyond petty political maneuverings, emotional exploitation, greed, and opportunism; a man who encourages all of us to disregard the ceaseless clamor of ideologues and think for ourselves; a man who sees beyond his own ego and cares only for what is good and right and just. In short, it needs a man like Glenn Lee Beck.

Thank God for Glenn Beck and all he has done. After all, what would our country be like if not for him?

Who else made the list? Read here.


Ann Coulter gets open letters

Whenever two or more Ann Coulters get together, this is what you get:

Apparently Ann Coulter royally fucked up recently. Take a look at this open letter from Michael Gross:

You made a whopping big (though seemingly small) mistake in your column yesterday and I’m paying for it and I’m disgusted and so I am writing to ask you to help me stop the wave of sewage you’ve caused to wash up in my in-box. Your mistake was one that no one with a byline should make. You wrote a column about a guy who wrote an article in Vanity Fair this month on Sarah Palin. His name is Michael Joseph Gross. That’s Michael Joseph Gross. Not Michael Gross. That’s me.

Read on.

Open Letter to M. Night Shyamalan-ah-ding-dong

Dear Mr. Night Shyamalan,

MrShyamalanI finally got a chance to watch “The Happening” this weekend while at a friend’s house who pays for HBO. Wow, could you please send me the name and number of the person(s) responsible for funding your last few films? Are they just Sam Mercer and Barry Mendel? I would like to tell each one of them that they’ve been conned into funding your awful motion pictures.

We watched “Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium”, “Vantage Point” and “Out of Time” over the weekend. All three movies were better than “The Happening”, and all three of them were subpar to shitty.

Denzel Washington’s “Out of Time” was cinema fail 500, and it was still better than “The Happening”. The celluloid that “Vantage Point” was shot on is worth more than “The Happening”. Mr. Magoriums was okay, because I got to spend 90 minutes with Natalie Portman, which is not a bad way to spend time.

“The Happening” was like Glenn Beck. He tries really hard to scare his audience with whiny, tearful, cliché and poorly acted scripting. He rides a horse named Hackneyed and Proud of it. He sees dead people and he talks to them (Thank you, Jesus). And he’s overstayed his welcome as a reputible source for anything entertaining or valid.

Any intelligent person is going to yawn, roll eyes and blow him off.

I hope there’s an audience boycott on your pictures like there is on advertisers sponsoring Beck’s show.

Best regards for your awful, deluded talent,

Jeremy “I want those 90 minutes of my life back” Witteveen