Zillion year old Pat Robertson says, “Do not fight with science. You’ll lose.”

November 29, 2012

This might be the most sense Pat Robertson has made in a while.

Maybe it’s because he was living in the time of the dinosaurs and his timeline is more accurate.

Regardless, I think there’s more nuggets of truth behind this response to a mother asking about answers in the Bible than he’s letting on.

Via

 

 


Pat Robertson, the cosmic battle rages on. You can’t see it. I can’t see it. But it’s there. Believe me.

April 19, 2012

And people wonder why other people don’t believe them when they say they have a friend and an enemy, they’re invisible, but they are there.

Well, where are they?

Ask Pat Robertson. He’ll tell you.

And if you don’t believe him, it’s because one of his invisible friends has a hold of mechanism in your head responsible for belief.

When.

Will.

This.

End?

Via


SATAN IS REAL … He’s right here! Can’t you see him??? Yeah, me neither.

April 10, 2012

Among the many things in this video that will blow your mind, Pat says, “Burn that statue of Buddha.”

“Demons, these things are real,” He repeats over and over.

Wow.

Uploaded by mediamatters4america on Apr 9, 2012

Roundup of things Pat Robertson claims are demonic, includes among others: yoga, karate, Twilight, homosexuality, tv shows about ghosts, young girls playing levitation games at sleepovers, and (sometimes) adopted children from other countries. More details on Robertson’s demon hunting here: http://mm4a.org/HXQcNe

Via


It’s quittin’ time. Let’s talk cunnilingus with Pat Robertson

March 14, 2012

Nothing says red-faced awkward like getting a sex lesson from Pat Robertson.

I take that back. It’s a little entertaining to hear him babble about it.

Just make sure it’s between a husband and a wife. What you do between ya’ll and god is sure-fire okie dokie.

Which is why two men and two women can’t marry.

Obviously.

Oh, I found great info on cunnilingus here at the wiki. Sweet pics and everything. You know what they say, wikipedia is a gateway site to porn.

To be fair, here’s fellatio. Now go off and get edu-mah-cated.

Via


Make up your mind Pat. Your deity did or didn’t do it?

March 6, 2012

Is it just me or has Pat Robertson changed his tune about deities sending weather to destroy towns? What did he say about Haiti again? Phew, it was Satan! God’s enemy that he let’s confuse you and tempt you with sex and other great sins.

Robertson says that enough people pray, they can stop a tornado.

Which I guess is where this video comes from in which a woman is praying a tornado away from her home.

Via JMG


Today is loaded with train wrecks

February 22, 2012

Here’s clip from the never-ending source of idiocy and windbaggery Pat Robertson in which he says America is headed for a atheist dictatorship:

The comments at the YouTube link will tittle your tattle. Go check them out.

If this country is 80% Christian, and the good goddamn majority of them are gun-toting, cowboys, I haven’t a clue what fear-mongering Robertson is laying down.

Bestiality is real? 

The other train wreck is that, earlier, when I was posting about that hetero who screwed his neighbor’s Lab, I stumbled on this reddit thread about a girl who claims to LOOOOOOOOOOOVE bestiality.

If you click this, be prepared to tunnel into a world of surprise and sexual whimsy.

The person discussing their love for bestiality is waaaaaaaaaay too knowledgeable.

The TYWKIWDBI trainwreck 

And if you’re looking for a train wreck of good clean fun, just go visit Stan at TYWKIWDBI. His blog is a treasure trove of great posts full of wonder and amazement.


Robertson: It’s Your Fault Your Faith Healing Failed

February 20, 2012

Televangelist Pat Robertson tells viewer that it his own fault, not Robertson’s, that his faith healing didn’t work.

Or … or! … the person experienced a rush of adrenaline — from meeting his/her idol Pat Robertson and that he touched him/her — followed by a flow dopamine or brain chemical that temporarily made him or her feel better, and by the next day, the effects wore off.

Yawn.

Via


God has special red phone with Pat Robertson’s number and called him *directly*

January 3, 2012

Wouldn’t you know it!?! Pat Robertson is hogging God. He actually talked to him, and God gave him direct words to relay to humanity.

God also told Patty who the next president of the United States is, but he can’t talk about it. God told him to keep his mouth shut on that one.

Imagine that, God told Pat, and this would be a verifiable fact that could come true and show us God and Pat are soul buddies.

But that’s beside the point, at 2:22 in the video above, Pat says, “God said, and I quote …”

Now I could be wrong, but God hasn’t talked to anyone directly since John the Revelator (if you believe that kind of thing). And if you don’t, well, he never said boo to anyone. It’s all a made up bunch of stories.

Anyway, take a look a the clip. Throw me a couple funny lines that stuck out to you in the comments. The damn 2.5 minutes is chockfull of great quotes.

Hey Mr. Robertson, quit hogging Jesus and share him with the rest of us. We’re dying to hear straight from the horse’s mouth. And oh yeah, when you were talking about Obama, you forgot Romans 13:1 that says God places every authority in power. So you’re kinda really not following the bible you claim you follow.

Via JMG


Pat Robertson still hasn’t read the bible, but he loves him some Tebow

December 19, 2011

Despite Yeshua’s own words about public displays of faith, Pat Robertson defies his very stand, and pompously announces Tebow is a role model for believers.

Forget Yeshua, the Christ figure. His influence = hogwash.

Tebow is the real Christ. One we can touch and smell.

And boy, does Tebow stink!

Via


Pat Robertson told me Tina and I are not married

November 8, 2011

In the above video, Pat Robertson says that marriages performed by civil servants or non-religious officiants are not recognized by god.

Which means Tina and I are not officially married. We were married by a mental health professional.

Well, I’ll be a man living in sin. I am an abomination.

And I’m loving every minute of it.

Via


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