Rick Warren: Obama Contraception Policy Endangers Religious Freedom || @rickwarren

April 10, 2012

Obama Contraception Policy Endangers Religious Freedom?

Seriously?

That sentence should read: “Religion endangers religious freedom.”

Do you know that God is completely silent on contraception, and yet America and her churches are all up in arms about being forced, coerced, held to the fire to include birth control through insurance to its employees.

And if the bible beaters are saying that this is a sexual issue, God’s pretty damn vocal about sexuality.

God does say not to pull out early or he’ll kill you:

“And Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.” (Genesis 38:7-10)

My response to these voices flipping out over this one aspect of Obamacare is:

Show me ONE (just one) place your bible is clear on this topic, not silly traditions without any biblical basis, and I’ll show you 100 places where God is crystal clear on the most atrocious behavior known to humanity. 

Let’s try boiling and eating your sons when there’s a famine:

“And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son….” (II Kings 6:28-29)

If you displease God, he’ll show everyone your tits … oh the shame!

“Behold, I am against thee, saith the LORD of hosts; and I will discover thy skirts upon thy face, and I will shew the nations thy nakedness, and the kingdoms thy shame. And I will cast abominable filth upon thee, and make the vile, and will set thee as gazingstock.” (Nahum 3:5-6)

“Look, I am against you!- declares Yahweh Saboath- I shall lift your skirts as high as your face and show your nakedness to the nations, your shame to the kingdoms. I shall pelt you with filth.” (Nahum 3:6, The New Jerusalem Bible)

If you displease YHWH, God will give you hemorrhoids: 

“The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods (biblical term for hemorrhoids), and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.” (Deuteronomy 28:27)

“But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he destroyed them, and smote them with emerods, [even] Ashdod and the coasts thereof” (I Samuel 5:6)

“And it was [so], that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts.” (I Samuel 5:9)

God wants you to have incestuous sex. 

“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:23)

“And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.” (Genesis 4:1-2)

“And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch…” (Genesis 4:17)

So Cain had sex with who? An unnamed sister? Or was it his mother? God had to start people off somehow.

For other examples of Biblical incest see Gen. 20:12 where Abraham married his half-sister Sarah; Gen. 19:30-38 where Lot’s daughters had intercourse with him; Gen. 38:16 where Tamar had sex with her father-in-law Judah.

Must I go on? 

Religious Freedom is compromised by the very insanity words written in the book held as sacred.

Rick Warren and all his whining bunch of Romans Three Twenty-Three-ers should quit bitching about what’s NOT biblical and bitch a little about what is.

Because then we wouldn’t have groups of people who think religious freedoms are oppressed by an oppressively ridiculous holy book without a shred of care for you or the person sitting next to you.


@RickWarren purposely drives you out of your mind, screams “What a life I have!”

July 26, 2011

Purpose Driven Life, my ass.

Check out what Rick Warren tweeted and soon after deleted:

“HALF of American pays NO taxes. Zero. SO they’re happy for tax rates to be raised on the other half that DOES pay taxes.”

After someone reminded him his filthy-rotten rich church of its tax-exempt status, what with all its Jesus-loving restaurants, high-tech auditoriums, basketball courts and posh facilities, old douchebag Warren deleted his brainless tweet.

Deletion makes it all better!

Warren, I’m sure you’re a great guy. But since I don’t know you, and I’m on the Internet protected by miles and the locks on my front door … you’re an asshole.

Hey, Rick! I’ve got a message from a long-lost friend of yours named Yeshua. He said, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Via Irregular Times


Ahhh Hells Bells, the battle is raging over Rob Bell

March 3, 2011

The moment I saw the video I posted about Rob Bell’s forthcoming book “Love Wins,” I emailed a link to my brother Jon and said, “I think you’ll like this video from Rob Bell.”

He responded and said, “Cool. Looks great.”

Then a few minutes later, he emailed and said, “I ordered a copy!”

I posted here a couple times about it. Over the weekend, it landed many hits here at Le Café. I wasn’t aware that it was trending on twitter. But throughout the weekend, Rob Bell got eclipsed by drunk-driving bitch whore Debra Oberlin, who apparently is more popular than hell.

You see, Jon and I talk about once a week, sometimes more. My family is Christian and I’m the black sheep atheist. Jon is not thrilled (no one is) that I’ve gone the route of a non-believer, but he has made a great effort to be the same best friend he was to me before. I’m so grateful for that. Over time, he’s become more comfortable, and I’ve asked that he behave in all the same ways as before. He tells me when he’s praying for me, and he tells me when he feels attacked by the devil. I’m so glad that he feels that comfort level again.

Earlier this week, Jon and I talked on the phone. He said he’s been following the battle within the Christian camp (which is dizzyingly vast). Real Christians™ believe in hell, heaven and the resurrection. That trinity is more important than the father, son and holy ghost.

The quibble over the invisible is never ending.

Without hell, Christians can’t scare children into holding onto the gospel through adulthood. Jesus just ain’t good enough to latch onto. They NEED hell.

So for a pastor with the notoriety of Rob Bell to insinuate, “Hey, there might not be a hell.” This is big stuff. If a pastor of a little, po-dunk church in rural Wyoming said it, no one would bat an eye. But Rob Bell has influence over many thousands.

Rob Bell saying it is an iPad 2 announcement game changer. Rob Bell is the Steve Jobs of Christianity … and frankly (and I hope it’s true), he could change EVERYTHING.

Back to my conversation with Jon. Jon sounded deflated about it. He said, “People are criticizing Rob Bell, calling him a Universalist … and they haven’t even read the book yet.” He paused and then he said, “Just read the freaking book.”

My dad sent me an article from Christianity Today (link) yesterday that spells out more of the controversy. Dad reads this blog just as closely as anyone I know, and I he’s a mighty solid Christian, too. He’s one that the world can admire, especially because he puts up with all the shit I write here. But more so because he’s very well read and articulate about what he believes.

That Christianity Today article also calls Bell a Universalist. Apparently calling a “Christian” a universalist is a pejorative. Thems are fightin’ words!

If Jesus were so goddamn clear, why the hellfire are there so many sects and so many interpretations of the bible? I know this isn’t a new question and Christians have a hundred different ways to respond … but it doesn’t change the fact that they can’t agree on damn near anything.

I want to point out that Bell discounts hell in his book “Velvet Elvis” which was published about 6 years ago. So it’s not new for Rob Bell to say this. It’s just that this new book puts it in the title. And since most Christians don’t read anyway, they would never get past the front of the book.

Honk.

Also, I want to point out that hell is the simplest Christian doctrine to discount. I was able to do it as a Christian … long before I stuck a flag in atheism. I’m surprised it’s taken this long for topic to dry up … but it never will entirely … because Christianity NEEDS it.

I was reading the article in Christianity Today, and it ends with a quote from the Christian Deity named Rick Warren. Warren is a god among Christianity, and anyone who says Christianity is a monotheistic religion is blowing smoke up your ass. Warren says, “I believe in hell because Jesus says it’s real & he knows more about it than anyone.”

I laughed so loud when I read that that my neighbors sent a squad car.

The non-biblical tradition that guys like Warren tell their mega-churches is, “When Jesus died, he spent three days in hell.” What a load of malarkey. So Warren tells everyone this and it is gospel.

The short of it is, Christianity needs Rob Bell, and it desperately needs to follow his lead. If there’s a guy who models a form of Christianity that I started to agree with as a Christian … it’s the version he writes about in his books and talks about in his video series. He’s what I consider a smart Christian … and it’s high time Warren got on his weepy knees and asked for an ounce of the smarts that Rob Bell has.

Warren’s purpose-driven life focus should be, “Become more like Rob Bell.”

Hey Christians … you’re making a HUGE mistake by demonizing Rob Bell. You should stop. Rob Bell actually makes you guys look cool.

But who am I? A humanist with an atheist voice who has no following as large as Rick Warren’s or Rob Bell’s. I’m easily discounted. If only there were a way to become a hugely adored Christian … and then break the news. I’m doing this all wrong.


Mehta Hands Warren A Two-Cent Coin with No “In God We Trust” Stamped on it

December 3, 2009

If you haven’t read it already, go read Hemant Mehta’s post “Pastor Rick Warren Knows Why You Became an Atheist“.

The most irritating thing about believers interpreting non-belief into words is how misunderstood non-belief is.

Warren’s purpose-driven life needs atheism to be disabled in a wheelchair, catatonic, ugly and stinking to high-hell of shit and piss so his purpose looks and smells like less of a turd.



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