Remember the Alamo? Fuck, me neither. I know there’s not a basement there. But I can’t remember. Was it when Yosemite “Toucan” Sam defeated Silent “Stinky Fingers” Bob Goldthwait in a wicked Wii Bowling matchup?
You’ve likely already heard the news … Hey! where you going? I haven’t finished yet.
You’ve probably heard the news, Rudy Giuliani pulled a Biden. He slipped up and said, “There were no domestic attacks under Bush.” Go to about a minute left on this clip over at the fucking idiotic Huffington Post if you want to hear it come out of the horse’s mouth.
Speculative pundits are saying, “Well, maybe he meant since 9/11.”
And the response has been, “What about anthrax, the shoe bomber, and all that shit that happened during 6 seasons of 24 … ALL under Bush’s watch.”
I mean that Muslim guy Marwen during that one season was ruthlessly planting bombs and shit all over LA. What was the president doing but hiding in his bunker, while Jack’s wife had amnesia and his daughter was getting fondled by that guy from “SixFeet Under.” And then Chloe totally shot that guy with that M-16. Oh, that was so cool!
Yes, Obama is having a tough-ass time right now. Market appears okay to democrats, dismal to republicans.
You know what I heard a republican say pretty recently? I’m not naming any names, but he had the audacity to say, “I mean, look at New Orleans. The democrats say that place is in an awful mess. But it’s booming. Business is booming. They’re rebuilding like crazy.”
Yeah! They’re rebuilding without the former locals, who happened to be black, poor, and they can’t afford to go back to rebuild. Take a racist republican to say shit like that.
There’s a trend right now among republicans of forgetfulness. They are remembering the Mean Joe Green Coke commercials, when it was a better time in their memories. But now, oh, look at how Obama is ruining your your … Childhood MEMORIES.
Almost everyone’s childhood was an innocuous treasure trove of blithely, vivacious technicolor memories. Of course it used to be a better time. But to your parents, they likely remember it quite differently.
You know what, Republicans? Not only did 9/11, anthrax and shoe bomber happen under Bush’s watch. But the decline of “24” happened under Bush. AND Jack’s Keifer Southerland’s DUI happened under Bush’s watch as well. The last two season of “24” were almost unwatchable. And I am a HUGE fan. How can Bush live with himself? How can republicans insist on forwarding bullshit emails written by egomaniacal, divisive-jargoned lunatic schizophrenics who forget that their own party wreaks of wealth and everything the “teabaggers” rail against!?!
And Keifer’s DUI, Bushy Boy? I thought you were keeping us safe from Keifer’s drinking and driving? Why can’t you keep your promises? Were you teaching him a favor about your personal drinking and driving indiscrepancies?
Between the republican-wide memory loss and the completely ludicrous emails … oh, and letting Tina’s dad die of cancer under your watch …
All these things were completely inexcusable.
People say that Tim Burton — with a little help from diabolical plagiarism — based the character who leads the tour of the Alamo in “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” on a mix between President Bush and Sarah Palin.
The Alamo we may forget. But 9/11? We will not forget. Nor will we forget that victory in Iraq was announced in 2003. And we won’t forget Bush has his hands in oil. And we won’t forget that Sarah Palin’s hands are steeped in that shit either.