You’ve seen these shoes, right? They form fit around every toe. They’re all the rage, and all the cool kids are wearing them … to run, to walk, to climb, to shop … and I imagine they’re in a few porn movies by now.
But if you were born as a Third-Toe-is-the-Longest Minority (also known as TTLMs), you know you’ll never be able to don a pair of these new style icons. It’s as appalling as all the companies who exclude south paws from ever using their products with any kind of efficacy.
The Burkenstock revolution was bad enough. But Toe Shoe discrimination is an egregious attempt at exposing good and honest people like me as freaks. As degenerates. As cast outs!
And I’m fucking fed up. I am standing up for myself and everyone who shares this disability everywhere.
Am I a modern day Rosa Parks? Maybe a Harvey Milk? Am I the lone voice of reason fighting for the rights of people like me, who were born with the natural tendency for the third toe to be the longest toe?
Don’t blame my parents. Don’t look in horror. I’m not toe flipping you off.
These distal phalanges cannot be discriminated against any longer!
I’m calling for a protest against all makers of toe shoes.
Here’s a list of awful, callous companies — who hate TTLMs — and must be boycotted for toe bigotry at all cost:
- REI
- Adidas
- Vibram
- Nike
- New Balance
- Komodo
- Fila
- Bikila
- Merrell
- Vivobarefoot
There are more companies introducing Barefoot Shoes everyday. Please do your part and do not patronize these companies. They hate TTLMs, and until they accommodate their products to all foot types, they deserve a hit where it hurts … in their hand shaped wallets and pocket books.
Sorry Buck-o you stand alone on this one, I love my Vibram’s!!! (see what I did there?)
You are a toe bigot.
Why do you hate people like me so much?
As someone who recently purchased and loves wearing Vibram Five Fingers TrekSport’s, I point at your alien feet and laugh maniacally. 😉
Speaking of freakish foot malformities that these companies refuse to accommodate, I have a webbed toe- where my second and third toe are fused together three-quarters of their length with skin.
Hey, Jer…..
I smell a lawsuit brewing.
A lawsuit?
I smell a freakin’
REVOLUTION
!!!
… wait a second, that might just be my dirty feet.
Carry on.
As a proud wearer of these amazing shoes, i would have to say that its not the companies or the people who wear them that hate you… its God.
You have merely validated what I already knew.
🙂
I was born with webbing between my second and third toes (syndactyly) and I am physically not able to wear these either. I support you.