Another reason not to vote for Obama, the cost of being homeless is surging

And you thought gas prices were enough reason to avoid voting for Obama this year, consider the cost of being homeless.

Imagine if you were homeless.

Remember the days when you could stop by a grocery store and pickup a sweet ride for your trashbags full of aluminum cans and miscellaneous belongings for a five-finger discount of … free?

Not anymore!

And guess who you have to thank for that!

Mister President Barack Obama and his homeless hating administration, that’s who!

During his administration, that asshole Obama and his cohorts required grocery stores to install wheel lock mechanisms on all their grocery carts, so you can no longer have transport for all your wires, microwaves and broken TVs.

Do you realize the cost of retrofitting the new carts with the old wheels? That shit is expensive. And homeless people don’t have that kind of cash.

Seriously.

Now homelesses are stuck buying wheeled suitcases and those little carts that the stores sell off the shelves.

How convenient, Grocery Store Owners!

Haven’t you seen them standing on highway off ramps with signs reading, “Homeless. Need wheeled suitcase or cart. Please help!”

That also explains the surge in cost of trashbags, the homeless person’s container of choice.

So if you’re homeless and you’re planning on voting blue in November, think again.

Santorum plans to remove locks from grocery store cart wheels as the first item on his agenda come January 2013. He also plans on outfitting waterproof blankets underneath the carriage so that when you take the cart, you also get to stay warm. He’s also going to install gerbil water feeders with booze in them on the sides, just high enough to lie on the ground and lick yourself into a deep sleep.

And there will also be a rubber glove dispenser on the sides so that you don’t get your hands dirtied with bloody tampons when you’re sifting around the trash looking for scraps of food.

Because, Jesus commanded his followers to care for the destitute and the downtrodden. And since Santorum believes in all that …

What?

Santorum doesn’t?

He’s a Christian, right?

Oh, okay.

Sorry, transients … you’re on your own on this one. The Christian nation you were born in doesn’t like you. Doesn’t want you. And certainly doesn’t want to help you.

 

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