“I thought Black Friday was like Halloween,” says Pope Mohammed while licking the tip of an ice cream cone. He has strawberry. You have chocolate.
“I thought you dressed in black face and spoke in ebonics,” Pope Mohammed continued. The ice cream on the top of his cone resembled a pink ocean wave stopped in time.
Pope Mohammed and you are sitting on a bench in a mall, licking ice cream and watching lots of people walking with lots of bags.
It’s black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving in the United States. It’s a day for deals. In your mind, it shows a call back to evolution, and how some people have a stronger propensity to hunt and scavenge for items they deem “valuable.”
“If I were married,” says Pope Mohammed. “I would divorce my wife if she came home with that many bags.”
You look up to see a women carrying what looks like a hundred bags. Her face is flush. And you can see a bead of sweat on her brow. Her glasses have fogged up.
“Of course, that’s why we need stricter divorce laws,” says Pope Mohammed. He bites into the edge of his cone. “Divorce is too easy these days.”
When you bite your cone, the crunch is echoey in your ears. You look down and a splotch of brown is on your shirt. You dab at it with a napkin.
“Stricter divorce laws make accountability for fidelity almost nil.” Pope Mohammed bites deeper into the hollow of his cone. “We need these fledgling marriages to stay together. That’s standup morality.”
Le Café Wittypoots 